Glass in the Carpet

Back when the room smelled like peach and the smoke Your lip ring would scrape and the whole world went slow We laughed til we cried over pancakes burnt black You kissed me with sugar still stuck to your tongue and said never go back The hallway still carries the hole in the wall Where my fist learned the drywall don’t love me at all Your blood on my knuckles looked black in the glow We swore never again but we both fucking know I still taste the copper, still hear the crack Still feel the belt buckle tear through the act One minute of sorry, one minute of peace Then the monster came back and it never would leave Glass in the carpet still catches the light Love in the veins still burns every night One minute of heaven, a lifetime of debt I still reach for the shadow I can’t ever forget And that minute’s the only thing keeping the worst of me quiet The fridge door still holds that sun-burnt polaroid Your head thrown back laughing, my heart unemployed Every time it swings open the memory stabs I slam it too hard and the light never lasts The bathroom floor knows the shape of my spine Curled up and rocking, counting heartbeats like lines The scar on my arm still itches when it rains Proof that forever can break and still leave its chains Denial still whispers she’ll call, just wait Bargaining begs one more hit, clean slate Anger screams burn it, depression just lies Acceptance tastes like the belt and goodbye Glass in the carpet still catches the light Love in the veins still burns every night One minute of heaven, a lifetime of hell I still reach for the shadow I can’t ever forget And that minute’s the only thing keeping the worst of me quiet Tiny shards glint when the sun hits just right Pretty little pieces of that last good night Still barefoot, still bleeding, still calling it love Still waiting on heaven that only push-shoved