𝙺𝚊𝚛𝚎𝚗 𝙰𝚕𝚎𝚛𝚝! 🚨

[Intro: Female Spoken Rap, Deadpan, Sparse Beat] (Click, click) (Tsk) Uh-oh… We got a situation. Somebody get security. Nah, scratch that. She wants the manager. (Yuh!) Here we go. [Verse 1: Fast, Playful Female Rap] Pulled up at Target, quarter past ten, Karen’s at the counter doing it again. Got a little bob and a whole lotta nerve, Parking in the fire lane, up on the curb. (Tsk!) Coupon expired back in twenty-oh-eight, But she’s got a screenshot, ready to debate. Lipstick tight, got her phone on record, Asked for a refund on a half-eaten pepper. (Ha!) “Excuse me, sweetheart, I know what I paid!” Whole damn checkout line throwing shade. Cashier says, “Ma’am, that’s not our brand.” Karen puts her little fist up in the air. [Pre-Chorus: Rhythmic Build, Layered Female Harmonies] Uh-oh, here she comes, Everybody better run. Got a complaint and a loaded phone, And she ain’t going home! (Shh!) Wait for it… [Chorus: Stripped Trap Beat, Chant-Like Hook] KAREN ALERT! (Yuh!) KAREN ALERT! (Ha!) Somebody call the manager! Somebody call the manager! KAREN ALERT! (Tsk!) KAREN ALERT! (What?) She don’t want a refund, She wants the whole damn world! Manager! Manager! Where’s your manager?! Manager! Manager! SOMEBODY GET THE MANAGER! [Post-Chorus: Glitchy Synth Stabs] (Beep! Beep!) Karen on the loose! (Beep! Beep!) Got a bad attitude! (Click!) One-star review! (Click!) She’s coming for you! [Verse 2: Clipped, Swaggering Female Rap] Now she’s at Starbucks, raising some hell, Said her iced latte got a funny little smell. “There’s too much ice!” Then “My drink’s too hot!” Girl, make up your mind, that’s all they got! (Yuh!) President, founder, queen of the HOA, Watching everybody from her window all day. Your grass too tall, your trash can’s blue, She’s got a six-page letter coming straight for you. (Ha!) Facebook warrior, keyboard queen, Biggest little scandal this town ever seen. Saw a kid on a bike, called nine-one-one, Said, “There’s suspicious activity out in the sun!” (Tsk!) [Pre-Chorus: Rising Female Harmonies] Uh-oh, here she comes, Everybody better run. Got a complaint and a loaded phone, And she ain’t going home! Wait… Is she filming? [Chorus: Heavy 808 Drop] KAREN ALERT! (Yuh!) KAREN ALERT! (Ha!) Somebody call the manager! Somebody call the manager! KAREN ALERT! (Tsk!) KAREN ALERT! (What?) She don’t want a refund, She wants the whole damn world! Manager! Manager! Where’s your manager?! Manager! Manager! SOMEBODY GET THE MANAGER! [Bridge: Darker Chords, Rapid-Fire Lyrical Rap] She’s got receipts, got complaints, Got a problem with the paint. Got a problem with the parking, Got a problem with the wait. Got a problem with the music, Got a problem with the bass. Got a problem with the problem, Got a problem with your face! (Yuh!) She demanded the manager, Manager came through. She demanded HIS manager, Said, “I’m not done with you!” The owner walked over, Said, “What can I do?” She said, “I OWN THIS PLACE!” He said… “No, you don’t.” [Beat Cuts Out] … (Tsk!) [Final Chorus: Huge Club Drop, Stacked Female Doubles, Female Call-and-Response] KAREN ALERT! (KAREN!) KAREN ALERT! (YUH!) Somebody call the manager! Somebody call the manager! KAREN ALERT! (HA!) KAREN ALERT! (WHAT?) She don’t want a refund, She wants the whole damn world! Manager! (MANAGER!) Manager! (MANAGER!) Where’s your manager?! SOMEBODY GET THE MANAGER! [Outro: Beat Strips Down, Deadpan Female Spoken Voice] Ma’am… This is a self-checkout. (Pause) …You ARE the manager. (Breathy laugh) (Tsk!) [End] ***Lyrics by: touché*** ©️2026