Allahu Snackbar

[Verse 1:] Oh, I opened up a little stand, in the middle of the mall, (Sing snack-a-lacka, Allahu Snackbar!) Selling falafel, shawarma wraps, and dates straight from the stall, (Sing snack-a-lacka, Allahu Snackbar!) I got pita bread, baklava sweet, hummus by the pound, But every time I yell my name, the whole mall hits the ground. [Chorus:] Allahu Snackbar, grab a plate and pray, It’s just chickpeas and spices, not a C4 entrée. Come and taste the curry, don’t call the FBI, I’m serving up explosions of flavor, not the other kind. [Verse 2:] Karen clutched her pearls and screamed, “What did he just say?” (Sing snack-a-lacka, Allahu Snackbar!) I told her, “Lady, it’s a blessing! Now try my lamb souvlaki!” (Sing snack-a-lacka, Allahu Snackbar!) She called security, I laughed and grabbed her plate, “Relax, Karen, it’s yogurt sauce, not some damn grenade!” [Chorus:] Allahu Snackbar, where the flavor’s divine, Terrorize your taste buds with this chicken that’s mine. It’s garlicky, it’s spicy, it’s haram-free delight, And if you leave a bad review, I’ll just smite you with spice. [Bridge:] They called in Homeland Security to taste my kebab, (Sing snack-a-lacka, Allahu Snackbar!) But by the time they left my stand, they were screaming “Mashallah!” (Sing snack-a-lacka, Allahu Snackbar!) Even the SWAT team said, “Damn, this shawarma’s fine,” And the bomb squad tipped me double, so I knew I’d be just fine. [Chorus:] Allahu Snackbar, bring your friends and your fears, It’s a culinary jihad of kebabs and cold beers. Don’t be scared of the pita, don’t flinch at the naan, I’m dropping flavor bombs, baby—come and get some! [Verse 3:] Now business is booming, my stand’s a local hit, (Sing snack-a-lacka, Allahu Snackbar!) But every time I restock falafel, they still throw a fit. (Sing snack-a-lacka, Allahu Snackbar!) So I wave my spatula high and scream into the sky, “Fear my baba ghanoush, infidels, and say goodbye!” [Chorus:] Allahu Snackbar, where the taste buds collide, It’s halal-certified, so don’t run and hide. Come grab some shawarma, leave your prejudice behind, Or I’ll wrap you up in pita bread and blow your fucking mind! [Outro:] Allahu Snackbar, the best spot in town, Serving up peace, love, and kebabs all around. So stop with the panic, and start with the bite, Allahu Snackbar, we’re open all night!