I'm Thirty

Happy New Year Guys! Glad to be here at the retirement home with all of you! Just got renewed my room and all But there's one thing I should inform you of.. and it might shock you! I'm thirty I know I don't look it (my time-) -Who the hell took it? I went from a young handsome lad To a weird-lookin' washed up dad (What the fuck!?) I'm thirty! I'm 30, but I look 88 My looks left me behind Can't escape my fate- and- I just realized I've been around for far too long And my body changed And my voice got strange And now I can't resist tellin' kids to get off my lawn Saw some kids talking They didn't know what Mr. Mime is! I mean, good for them, but- What the fuck!? I'm older than my granddads truck (YUCK!) I didn't have a fucking Ipad did I? I had a Gameboy, and it didn't even light up! Good luck playing that shit in a tunnel! I'm thirty I know I don't look it (my time-) -Who the hell took it? I went from a young handsome lad To a weird-lookin' washed up dad (What the fuck!?) I'm thirty! God damn it! I'm 30! Okay, fine, I know YOU consider me young, but come on- My nephew told me- Avatar was an old film It scared the shit out of me- And in return, I scared the shit out of HIM! All down for a hodown!? So when 2025 came around I realized what I'd become My beard turned gray My hair went away And that's why I'm here with all you ancient bastards today! Because- I'm thirty I know I don't look it (my time-) -Who the hell took it? I went from a young handsome lad To a weird-lookin' washed up dad (What the fuck!?) I'm thirty I was 29 And I was a spry young buck Then just in a matter of time- That 2 turned to 3 and I was shit out of luck (What the fuck!?) I'm thirty I know I don't look it (my time-) -Who the hell took it? I went from a young handsome lad To a weird-lookin' washed up dad (What the fuck!?) I'm thirty!