The Headless Horseman Rides Again! (Cowboy Radio Theatre)

[INTRO – OLD-TIME RADIO ANNOUNCER]
(Static crackles... radio tuning... distant thunder)
ANNOUNCER:
Good evening, partners, ghosts and goblins!
You're tuned to K-HOWL, the station that broadcasts beyond the grave!
Tonight, we're coming to you live from Sleepy Hollow...
Where the horses are restless, the pumpkins are rotten,
and one particular cowboy has lost something mighty important!
(LOUD HORSE WHINNY)
Now hold onto your hats, folks...
THE HEADLESS HORSEMAN RIDES AGAIN!
[INSTRUMENTAL INTRO]
(Galloping bass, banjo rolls, fiddle and three-part cowboy harmony)
[VERSE 1]
Well, the moon was hanging crooked,
And the wind began to moan,
There was a rattling in the bushes,
And a rider all alone.
He came riding down the trail,
With a pumpkin shining bright,
But he couldn't tip his Stetson,
'Cause his head was out of sight!
[CHORUS]
He's the Headless Horseman,
Riding through the night!
With a pumpkin for a lantern,
And a grin that shines so bright!
He's the Headless Horseman,
Hear the thunder, hear the roar!
He's been looking for his head
Since eighteen hundred and four!
Yee-haw! (Yodel!)
[VERSE 2 – COMEDY]
He stopped down at the chuckwagon,
Said, "I've come to get some grub!"
Side Meat served him pumpkin biscuits,
And a bowl of ghostly stew.
He said, "This food is mighty tasty,
But there's something you should know...
If you find a spare old noggin,
I've got somewhere it can go!"
[COMEDY BREAK – SPOKEN DIALOGUE]
ANNOUNCER:
Well, Horseman, we've got a question for you.
How exactly did you lose your head?
HORSEMAN:
I don't rightly know! I was out riding one night,
and the next thing I knew... I was looking for it!
ANNOUNCER:
Have you tried looking under your saddle?
HORSEMAN:
I'M A HORSEMAN, NOT A HORSE!
(BOING! HORSE NEIGHS! BANJO RIFF!)
[VERSE 3 – THE TALKING SKULL]
Then he heard a voice behind him,
From a skull beside the trail.
It said, "I've got a little problem,
And I think we both could use a sale!"
The Horseman shouted, "Who goes there?
Come on out and show your face!"
The skull said, "Buddy, that's the trouble...
I ain't got one in this place!"
[CHORUS]
He's the Headless Horseman,
Riding through the night!
With a pumpkin for a lantern,
And a grin that shines so bright!
He's the Headless Horseman,
Hear the thunder, hear the roar!
He's been looking for his head
Since eighteen hundred and four!
[VERSE 4 – THE GREAT CHASE]
Now the midnight bell was ringing,
And the churchyard gates swung wide,
He spotted something on a haystack,
And he took off on his ride!
Was it his head? Was it a pumpkin?
Was it something he could wear?
No, it was old Farmer Johnson,
With a turnip for his hair!
(FAST FIDDLE BREAK – HORSE GALLOPS)
[BRIDGE – COWBOY YODEL CONTEST]
HORSEMAN:
Yodel-ay-ee-ooo!
COWBOYS:
Yodel-ay-ee-ooo!
HORSEMAN:
Yodel-ay-ee-ooo!
COWBOYS:
THAT AIN'T YOUR HEAD, THAT'S A PUMPKIN, YOU FOOL!
(ALL LAUGH – BANJO AND FIDDLE TAKE OFF)
[FINAL CHORUS – BIG THREE-PART HARMONY]
He's the Headless Horseman,
Riding through the night!
With a pumpkin for a lantern,
And a grin that shines so bright!
He's the Headless Horseman,
Hear the thunder, hear the roar!
He's been looking for his head
Since eighteen hundred and four!
He's the Headless Horseman!
He's the terror of the trail!
If you hear those hoofbeats coming,
Better lock your pumpkin pail!
[OUTRO – GRAND WESTERN FINALE]
(Three-part cowboy harmony, soaring fiddle, banjo and yodels)
Yodel-ay-ee-ooo!
Yodel-ay-ee-ooo!
The Headless Horseman rides again!
Yodel-ay-ee-ooo!
Yodel-ay-ee-ooo!
Happy Halloween, my friends!
[ENDING – SPOKEN RADIO ANNOUNCER]
ANNOUNCER:
And that's another thrilling adventure from Sleepy Hollow!
Tune in next week, folks...
When our hero tries to find his head at the lost-and-found!
(LOUD THUNDER – HORSE WHINNY – RECORD SCRATCH)
HORSEMAN:
HEY! WHO TOOK MY PUMPKIN?!
(ONE FINAL BANJO TWANG)

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[INTRO – OLD-TIME RADIO ANNOUNCER] (Static crackles... radio tuning... distant thunder) ANNOUNCER: Good evening, partners, ghosts and goblins! You're tuned to K-HOWL, the station that broadcasts beyond the grave! Tonight, we're coming to you live from Sleepy Hollow... Where the horses are restless, the pumpkins are rotten, and one particular cowboy has lost something mighty important! (LOUD HORSE WHINNY) Now hold onto your hats, folks... THE HEADLESS HORSEMAN RIDES AGAIN! [INSTRUMENTAL INTRO] (Galloping bass, banjo rolls, fiddle and three-part cowboy harmony) [VERSE 1] Well, the moon was hanging crooked, And the wind began to moan, There was a rattling in the bushes, And a rider all alone. He came riding down the trail, With a pumpkin shining bright, But he couldn't tip his Stetson, 'Cause his head was out of sight! [CHORUS] He's the Headless Horseman, Riding through the night! With a pumpkin for a lantern, And a grin that shines so bright! He's the Headless Horseman, Hear the thunder, hear the roar! He's been looking for his head Since eighteen hundred and four! Yee-haw! (Yodel!) [VERSE 2 – COMEDY] He stopped down at the chuckwagon, Said, "I've come to get some grub!" Side Meat served him pumpkin biscuits, And a bowl of ghostly stew. He said, "This food is mighty tasty, But there's something you should know... If you find a spare old noggin, I've got somewhere it can go!" [COMEDY BREAK – SPOKEN DIALOGUE] ANNOUNCER: Well, Horseman, we've got a question for you. How exactly did you lose your head? HORSEMAN: I don't rightly know! I was out riding one night, and the next thing I knew... I was looking for it! ANNOUNCER: Have you tried looking under your saddle? HORSEMAN: I'M A HORSEMAN, NOT A HORSE! (BOING! HORSE NEIGHS! BANJO RIFF!) [VERSE 3 – THE TALKING SKULL] Then he heard a voice behind him, From a skull beside the trail. It said, "I've got a little problem, And I think we both could use a sale!" The Horseman shouted, "Who goes there? Come on out and show your face!" The skull said, "Buddy, that's the trouble... I ain't got one in this place!" [CHORUS] He's the Headless Horseman, Riding through the night! With a pumpkin for a lantern, And a grin that shines so bright! He's the Headless Horseman, Hear the thunder, hear the roar! He's been looking for his head Since eighteen hundred and four! [VERSE 4 – THE GREAT CHASE] Now the midnight bell was ringing, And the churchyard gates swung wide, He spotted something on a haystack, And he took off on his ride! Was it his head? Was it a pumpkin? Was it something he could wear? No, it was old Farmer Johnson, With a turnip for his hair! (FAST FIDDLE BREAK – HORSE GALLOPS) [BRIDGE – COWBOY YODEL CONTEST] HORSEMAN: Yodel-ay-ee-ooo! COWBOYS: Yodel-ay-ee-ooo! HORSEMAN: Yodel-ay-ee-ooo! COWBOYS: THAT AIN'T YOUR HEAD, THAT'S A PUMPKIN, YOU FOOL! (ALL LAUGH – BANJO AND FIDDLE TAKE OFF) [FINAL CHORUS – BIG THREE-PART HARMONY] He's the Headless Horseman, Riding through the night! With a pumpkin for a lantern, And a grin that shines so bright! He's the Headless Horseman, Hear the thunder, hear the roar! He's been looking for his head Since eighteen hundred and four! He's the Headless Horseman! He's the terror of the trail! If you hear those hoofbeats coming, Better lock your pumpkin pail! [OUTRO – GRAND WESTERN FINALE] (Three-part cowboy harmony, soaring fiddle, banjo and yodels) Yodel-ay-ee-ooo! Yodel-ay-ee-ooo! The Headless Horseman rides again! Yodel-ay-ee-ooo! Yodel-ay-ee-ooo! Happy Halloween, my friends! [ENDING – SPOKEN RADIO ANNOUNCER] ANNOUNCER: And that's another thrilling adventure from Sleepy Hollow! Tune in next week, folks... When our hero tries to find his head at the lost-and-found! (LOUD THUNDER – HORSE WHINNY – RECORD SCRATCH) HORSEMAN: HEY! WHO TOOK MY PUMPKIN?! (ONE FINAL BANJO TWANG)

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