I called it time I called it care I called it anything but fear I said no word You paid the difference I told myself a rushed reply Would only make the damage spread Better to wait until the pressure Found a cleaner way through my head I made delay resemble caution Made withdrawal resemble grace Kept every option in my keeping While you absorbed what I displaced No promise broken if I made none No final answer to regret That was the logic I protected That was the cost I wouldn't face I never had to state the ending Never had to make it plain I let omission do the cutting Then denied I held the blade But nothing stayed suspended Every hour joined the cost What I postponed kept moving While I claimed that time was paused Every day I chose delay Put the hours on your tab Every risk I wouldn't state Kept the charges adding up I saved myself the cost of saying What my silence meant in time I kept the words You took the consequence You paid for my silence Not for what I meant For what I left Not for my intent For its effect I can still assemble reasons Why the timing wasn't right Why confusion made me careful Why I couldn't choose a side Every reason may be honest Every reason served me first I was spared the confrontation My comfort came at your expense I didn't ask what it would cost you That omission was the charge I kept access to my comfort While the unpaid balance grew Now the defense sounds different When I strip away the claim I did not need to wish you damage For my impact to be real Nothing stayed suspended Nothing waited for my nerve What I would not put in language Still demanded to be heard Every day I chose delay Put the hours on your tab Every risk I wouldn't state Kept the charges adding up I saved myself the cost of saying What my silence meant in time I kept the words You took the consequence You paid for my silence I won't ask you to forgive it So I can feel the balance change I won't turn my recognition Into one more thing you have to take This is not my suffering This is not my chance to grieve This is me refusing One more method of retreat NO PITY FOR THE PART OF ME THAT FOUND IT HARD TO SPEAK I BOUGHT MYSELF AN EASIER DAY AND SENT YOU THE RECEIPT Every day I chose delay Put the hours on your tab Every fear I wouldn't face Kept the charges adding up I saved myself the cost of saying I was scared and chose to hide I kept the words You took the consequence You paid for my silence I kept the words You paid the cost No better motive Gives back what I passed on I kept the words You paid
