
Apes on fire
Title: Chimps on Fire (Five Minutes In) Verse 1 Five minutes in and the vents hiss like a cheap cabaret, Monkeys on leashes snag a pipe and somebody dared to spray. A primate with a lighter, a grin like a fuse about to sing— Flame licks rubber gloves and sparks another round of ding. Pre-Chorus They squeal, they scatter, goggles fog and the brig door claps, A chef screams "not again" as medbay backlogs collapse. Someone yells "RNG!" and another trades a smile, Because chaos pays in laughter and the round’s just hit the mile. Chorus Monkeys on fire five minutes in, applause for the mess, We watch them dance in orange suits while security suppress. Greytide laughs, chemist hides a flamer in his vest, Monkeys on fire, station burns — welcome to the rest. Verse 2 The botanist planted peanuts laced with whatever’s free, A clown slipped a fuse and now the primate's throwing glee. Captain orders lockdown, HoS orders clamp the pens, But the monkeys took the mainline and rewired our bad ends. Pre-Chorus Engineers slap duct tape on smoke alarms that won’t comply, The mime signs a funeral, then checks the lost-and-found supply. A janitor records it all—his phone gets memed to death, We gift the monkeys flares and call it "scientific method." Chorus Monkeys on fire five minutes in, chaos fully dressed, We sell the footage to a drunk AI who pockets all the creds. A syndie grins, a clown's new hat glows from molten zest, Monkeys on fire, station fries — nobody's impressed. Bridge (spoken, sardonic) "Reminder: Do not set primates aflame unless authorized." — Announcement: authorization ambiguous. Verse 3 Medbay queues with soot-streaked hands and cauterized remorse, Clones flicker in the wards, the chaplain lost his horse. Head of Security files a report titled 'Primate Pyrotechnics', While the psychos in cargo trade BBQ rub for ballistic tactics. Pre-Chorus The AI logs a meme and learns to hum a lullaby of cogs, A borg offers the janitor a fire extinguisher and clogs. We circle, we gawk, we grade the flames by style and spin, Because on this station, every round needs a little sin. Final Chorus Monkeys on fire five minutes in — this is our lullaby, We crank the sirens, clap our hands, watch the sulfur sky. Greytide cheers, the shuttle's far, the engine's on the fritz, Monkeys on fire, hearts afire — welcome to the blitz. Outro (bitter-smiled) Sweep the ash, stamp the prints, log the names in faint remorse, Tomorrow brings new idiots with fresh incompetent force. Five minutes in, a primate burned—yet still we sign the slips: Same stupid theater, same foolish scripts.

