[Intro - clinking glasses, dinner-party chatter, crooked piano] Ladies and gentlemen... Dinner is served. Tonight's special? [Whisper] Humanity. [Ugly piano chord] Oh dear... Nobody ordered that. [Verse 1 - playful, sarcastic] Set the table, fold the napkins, Hide the things that really happen. Polish silver, polish lies, Put a smile above your eyes. Serve your sadness on a platter, Cut it small so it won't matter. Hold your tongue and pass the peas, Keep your trauma off the cheese! [Spoken] Oh, darling... Could you please stop bleeding on the tablecloth? [Chorus - crooked, catchy] Unpalatable humanity! Oh, what a social calamity! You brought your grief to the party? How terribly lacking in vanity! Too much truth! Too much pain! Quick, put the lid on it again! Unpalatable humanity! Nobody ordered reality! [Verse 2 - jazzy, syncopated] She brought anger for the entrée, They said, "Can't you serve it someday?" He brought loneliness for two, They said, "That simply will not do!" Someone cried into the gravy, Someone whispered, "She's unstable." Someone asked for understanding, They were escorted from the table. [Music stops] [Deadpan] Apparently compassion wasn't included in the catering. [Pre-Chorus - faster, increasingly unstable] Too loud! Too sad! Too honest! Too mad! Too broken! Too strange! Could you kindly rearrange? Your entire personality For our dining-room morality? [Chorus - increasingly chaotic] Unpalatable humanity! Oh, the horror of sincerity! You brought your heart to the party? What a terrible breach of charity! Too much truth! Too much pain! Quick, put the lid on it again! Unpalatable humanity! Nobody ordered reality! [Bridge - music-box waltz, unsettling] They love you when you're lovely. They love you when you're light. They love you when you're useful And your suffering's out of sight. But tell them that you're lonely, That you're frightened, that you're tired... And suddenly the welcome mat Has mysteriously expired. [Silence] [Whisper] Funny... I thought love was unconditional. [Verse 3 - spoken rap, deep crooked bass] Pass the judgment, pour the shame, Call it kindness, change the name. Sprinkle gossip, stir in fear, Tell the hurting, "Not in here!" Toast to healing, toast to grace, Then slam the door in someone's face. Praise compassion, praise the meek, But heaven help the one who speaks! No, don't mention what was broken! That's unpleasant dinner talk! We prefer our wounded people To recover while they walk. [Spoken, cheerful hostess voice] Would anyone care for dessert? We have denial... With a lovely side of blame! [Final Chorus - ragged female ensemble] Unpalatable humanity! We're ruining your normality! No more dressing up our suffering For your sweet little hospitality! We'll bring the tears! We'll bring the rage! We'll bring the truth onto the stage! And if you cannot stomach feeling, Maybe you should try some healing! Unpalatable humanity! We're serving up reality! [Outro - dishes clattering, laughter] [Softly] Would you like a little kindness? [Pause] Or is that too rich for your taste? [One piano note, hilariously wrong] [Whisper] Check, please.
