[Opening Announcement — spoken, grandiose] Ladies and gentlemen! Boys and girls! Step right up, don't be shy! We've got a little something special for you tonight. A little smoke. A little flame. A once-in-a-lifetime opportunity To see a man become his name. [Verse 1] I've got a smile like a billboard And a heart like a house of cards I can juggle three regrets And make a living breaking hearts I've got a trick with a handkerchief A rabbit up my sleeve And if you think you've seen it all You ain't seen nothing leave The lion's getting restless The tightrope's coming loose But the crowd is getting restless too And I've got something left to prove [Chorus] It's in tents! It's in tents! Ladies and gentlemen, the show's intense! The lights are going out But the spotlight's still on me It's in tents! It's in tents! What a wonderful catastrophe! [Verse 2] I heard a little crack backstage I smelled a little smoke The clown was making for the exit I thought it was a joke The acrobat was screaming The ringmaster lost his hat I said, "Folks, don't panic now— We've rehearsed for worse than that!" I bowed into the heat wave I gave the flames a grin I thought the house was giving me A standing ovation [Chorus] It's in tents! It's in tents! Ladies and gentlemen, the show's intense! The curtains catch like paper And the rafters start to sing It's in tents! It's in tents! Come and see the greatest thing! [Bridge — spoken, breathless] Now, I know what you're thinking. Is he dead? Well, folks, I've been called worse. And technically speaking, The show has never been hotter. [Verse 3] They found my shoes by the ticket booth My hat beside the gate They found the little gold tooth I'd been saving for my wake They say the canvas fell around me They say the whole thing came apart But they never found the punchline Or the beating of my heart So if you hear a trumpet Where the fairground used to stand And see a man in a burning coat With a microphone in his hand— Don't worry, folks, I'm harmless. I just need a little light. I've got a brand-new act prepared And you're the crowd tonight. [Final Chorus] It's in tents! It's in tents! Ladies and gentlemen, the show's intense! The house is full of ashes And the audience is free It's in tents! It's in tents! Won't somebody laugh for me? [Outro — spoken, fading] Thank you, thank you. You've been a wonderful audience. Please exit through the gift shop. Mind the flames on your way out. And remember— The show must go on.
