[verse 1] My mama said “Son, don’t split your buns, When you chase two rabbits, you don’t catch none.” I tried to multitask, but it bit me back, Like sittin’ on a fence in a porcupine stack. I was half-in, half-out, half-baked, half-bright, Half a day worker, half a night light. Then I found the key to satisfaction— One cheek at a time ain’t a plan of action! [chorus] Never half-ass two things, whole-ass one thing, Put your glutes of glory in the game, let ‘em sing. Focus those cheeks, let your passion swing— Don’t spread too thin, just whole-ass one thing! [verse 2] I tried cookin’ dinner while fixin’ my truck, Ended up stir-fryin’ motor oil—bad luck! I texted my boss while I brushed my teeth, Now my phone’s got toothpaste and my tongue’s got grief. When you juggle too much, somethin’s gonna drop— Like my britches fallin’ in the Tractor Supply shop. So now I aim true, keep both cheeks aligned— I’m the Michelangelo of my behind! [rap break] [playful, talk-sung country rap] Yo—listen up now— I said cheeks to the left, cheeks to the right, But you gotta pick one if you wanna take flight. Don’t be dabblin’, straddlin’, halfway paddlin’, Life ain’t a buffet for your booty battlin’. You gotta sit down deep in the saddle of choice, Commit so hard that your butt has a voice. Say OOH! [Band] (OOH!) say YEAH! [Band] (YEAH!) Whole-ass it like you actually care. [bridge – gospel vibes] Maybe you’re dreamin’ of fame and fortune, But you’re busy scrollin’ through memes and misfortune. You can’t twerk your way to dedication, Unless you shake both cheeks of determination! [guitar solo] [chorus – big finale] Never half-ass two things, whole-ass one thing, Put your buns of thunder in the work you bring. If you’re sittin’ on dreams, make the seatbelts ring— Don’t straddle the fence, just whole-ass one thing! [outro spoken, choir humming] [Spoken:] May your buns be united… May your focus be firm… And may your destiny… Be fully cheeked. [end]
