[Intro: wah guitar, string swell, phone ringing] Ring ring Dee's line Talk to me I know a guy [Hook: horn stabs, group answers] I know a guy (he knows a guy) Need it by tonight (I know a guy) Pipe burst at two and a tux by noon Ladder and a lawyer and a brass band too Don't ask how and don't ask why I know a guy (I know a guy) [Verse 1] My office is a folding chair on Chelten Avenue Thermos and a flip phone and the whole block got the number too Mrs. Lee got water pouring through her hallway light I got Lorenzo at her door with a wrench by nine tonight Pastor needs a van to take the choir down to Baltimore I know a man with fifteen seats who owes me from the time before Kid on Wayne got prom on Friday, not a dollar for a suit Benny on the corner fits him forty two long and shoes to boot I don't sell it and I don't steal it and I never take a dime All I ask is when I call you that you pick up every time Every favor is a thread and I been sewing twenty years Pull it on the corner and the whole city appears [Hook: horn stabs, group answers] I know a guy (he knows a guy) Need it by tonight (I know a guy) Pipe burst at two and a tux by noon Ladder and a lawyer and a brass band too Don't ask how and don't ask why I know a guy (I know a guy) [Verse 2] Monday it's the councilman, he needs a crowd by noon For a ribbon on a pothole that they finally filled in June Tuesday Mr. Wallace wants a bird that says I'm sorry, Lynn I know a lady with a parrot and the parrot owes me, so he's in Wednesday Bernadette at the bakery, her mixer quit at four Fifty cakes for Saturday, I got a mixer at her door Friday Miss Odette needs a piano up three flights of stairs I just smile and start dialing like I'm saying evening prayers [Double-Time Switch: stacked, no commas] My cousin got a barber with a brother with a van and the van has a ramp and a ladder and rope The rope is from a sailor on the river and the sailor is dating the lady who sells me the soap The lady got a nephew in the permit office stamping the paper as fast as a body can hope So the piano is up on the third floor Sunday morning and it cost me a call and a pretzel and a joke [Hook: horn stabs, group answers] I know a guy (he knows a guy) Need it by tonight (I know a guy) Pipe burst at two and a tux by noon Ladder and a lawyer and a brass band too [Breakdown: congas and bass, phone ringing] Ring ring (who's that) Ring ring (talk to me) Ring ring (I'm on it) Done [Chopper Burst: triplet bounce, flow switch] Lorenzo on a pipe and Benny on a hem and Bernadette is frosting fifty little cakes until the oven door is smoking Pastor's van is rolling and the choir is in the back and Mr. Wallace and the parrot got the door of Lynn's apartment open Councilman is cutting up a ribbon on a pothole and the crowd that I delivered is clapping long before a word is spoken Every phone is ringing and I pass along the call along a wire of my people and the wire has never once been broken [Verse 3] Saturday the Johnsons got their fiftieth at the hall I'm at Bernadette's to get the cake like every other fall Flour on her apron and she slides the box across Says Dee, you fix the whole block, who you calling when you're lost I said nobody, Bernadette, I'm the guy, that's how it's done She said well, I know a guy who ain't been out since ninety one Friday at eight, a table by the window, wear a nicer shirt That guy is you and I am buying, and I'm bringing the dessert Walked out on Chelten with a cake and a grin a mile wide First time in my life I got a guy on my side [Final Hook: horn stabs, group answers] She knows a guy (that guy is me) Friday at eight (she knows a guy) Pipe burst at two and a tux by noon Table by the window and a cake for two Don't ask how and don't ask why She knows a guy (she knows a guy) [Outro: wah guitar, phone ringing, strings fade] Ring ring Dee's line Not tonight I got a date
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