--- Still adding to the grunge collection. This one is about growing up with an absent parent. It's got the grunge angry edge to it, but the anger isn't directed at the parent, it's directed at the loss of childhood innocence that the singer never got to experience. Wanted to have a solid grunge vibe, but also include tribal drums to tap into the primal feelings about growing up. Since the parent wasn't around, they had to raise themselves. Liked the way this one came out. Not as much "primal drumming" as I was looking for at the start, but it works its way in there. The grunge elements are certainly front and center, which works out well. And the texture changes as the song goes along, which I really like, ~David --- [Musical Introduction] [Low, steady tribal drum pattern—hand drums, toms, primal pulse] [Single distorted guitar note swells in and out] [Verse 1] Empty chair at the table Stories I never heard Learning how to tie my hands Around a broken world I watched other kids get lifted On shoulders I never knew So I learned real early What I had to do [Pre-Chorus] No one showed me how to fall No one caught me when I did I grew up fast in the shadows Missing how to be a kid [Chorus] I can forgive, but I won’t forget The nights I stayed low, learned to bend You weren’t there, so I had to be I had to raise myself just to breathe I don’t hate you, I hate the cost All the normal I never got You kept me down, I built my way I had to raise myself [Verse 2] School plays, birthdays, little wins Just names I heard from someone else I learned to patch my own wounds Learned to talk myself off the ledge I wasn’t angry back then Just confused and tired and small Anger came later When I knew what I’d lost [Pre-Chorus] I don’t curse your name at night I curse the years that slipped away There’s a difference between forgiveness And pretending it was okay [Chorus] I can forgive, but I won’t forget The weight I carried in my chest You weren’t there when I needed help So I learned how to raise myself I don’t blame you, I blame the void Where a childhood should’ve been enjoyed You kept me low, I found my way I had to raise myself [Musical Interlude] [Tribal drums intensify, layered rhythms] [Guitars grow heavier, grinding but steady] [Wordless vocal chants underneath] [Bridge] I won’t pass this silence down I won’t let it take root If I’m ever called a father I’ll know exactly what to do I’ll show up bruised and imperfect I’ll stay even when it’s hard I won’t disappear and call it love I’ll be there from the start [Breakdown] [Drums drop to a single pulse] I learned strength from being alone But no kid should have to [Final Chorus] I can forgive, but I won’t forget The innocence I never kept You weren’t there, but I survived I had to raise myself to stay alive I don’t carry this out of spite I carry it to break the line If I get the chance, I’ll stay I had to raise myself So my child won’t have to [Lyrical Outro] [Quiet, reflective] Forgiveness isn’t freedom But it lets me choose [Musical Ending] [Tribal drums continue alone for several bars] [Final heavy guitar hit, then silence]
