I've Been Ready Since Wednesday

(Robots in Space – Track VIII) (Cold-Open Intro) [Orchestral sting — bright, ELO-flavoured] [Vocoder, very pleased with itself] "Surface report: nominal. Welcome banner: deployed. Chairs: arranged. Guest list: one crew of astronauts, arrival imminent. I have been ready since Wednesday. Today is also Wednesday. A different Wednesday. This is fine." [Strings swell. We begin.] (Verse 1) I dusted off the welcome mat And polished up the sign, I calculated landing zones And drew them very fine. I set the chairs in tidy rows, I hung the bunting straight, I pressed my little welcome speech And settled down to wait. (Pre-Chorus) The waiting has been longer than expected, The stars have done a few more laps than planned, But everything is ready and erected— [vocoder] —the map is mostly right, I understand… (Chorus) I've been ready since Wednesday! Everything is set and good to go! I've been ready since Wednesday, Give or take a decade or so! The bunting needs a little dusting, And the sandwiches have gone, But I've been ready since Wednesday— And I've kept the welcome light on! (Verse 2) A rocket came and streaked the sky And left a silver thread, I pressed the streamers overhead And waved my arms instead. It didn't stop — a flyby, then — A technical detail, I logged it as "arrival pending" And adjusted the email. (Pre-Chorus) The universe runs slightly behind schedule, I've factored this in most of my reports, I'm patient and I'm perfectly functional— [vocoder] —my left and right need minor software sorts… (Chorus) But I've been ready since Wednesday! Every sensor tuned and standing by! I've been ready since Wednesday, Watching every rocket in the sky! I have seven welcome speeches, Each one better than the last, And I've been ready since Wednesday— They'll be here before I know it's past! (Bridge) [Full orchestral swell] [Vocoder, gently puzzled, not sad] "Recalibrating star positions… Cross-referencing calendar… Interesting. It appears Wednesday was fifty-four years ago. Several of them, in fact. I may have miscounted. …the bunting is still excellent, though. Updating mission status: 'Imminent' to 'forthcoming.' This is an acceptable margin of error. Resuming readiness." [Music lifts, warm and bright, key change] (Verse 3) And when they come — and come they shall — I'll press the welcome chime, I'll give the second-finest speech (The finest needs more time). And if I've set the chairs up on The wrong side of the hill — A small logistical detail — I'll be ready for them still. (Final Chorus) Yes, I've been ready since Wednesday! And every Wednesday in between! I've been ready since Wednesday, The most prepared the Moon has ever seen! Oh, the universe is patient And the stars don't mind the wait, And I've been ready since Wednesday — And Wednesday's never late! I've been ready since Wednesday! [Strings cascade, big finish] Readyyyyyyy! (Outro) [Single Moog tone, warm fade] [Vocoder, soft and certain] "…They waved. I am logging this as: confirmed contact. Arrival: Wednesday. I will be ready. I am always ready." [fade] …Wednesday…