The Freak Shall Inherit the Earth

[Verse 1] The freak shall inherit the earth An apocryphal version of the sermon on the mount recounts Jesus saying the freak shall inherit the earth Written in koinē Greek it goes on to say The creek is a leaky faucet And that a man would arise in the west called the human highlight reel Seek and ye shall find God's strength is made perfect in weakness The beaks of sparrows are full of seeds Two additional apostles were Deke and Zeke Speaking from the peak the freak shall inherit the earth Speaking from the peak the freak shall inherit the earth [Verse 2] Jesus foretold the Preakness and indeed the entire Triple Crown Churchill Downs Kentucky Derby Jesus was a big horse fan Arabian horses He was tempted to gamble and he liked a good steak medium rare God gave man dominion over filet mignon And when Jesus overturned the money changers tables He beat the shit out of them with an ebony night stick Or maybe it was teak Lost in translation He did no doubt love treacle with his steak Naped as a sauce to capture both sweet and savory While dining at his favorite Nazareth eatery Chez Jude It was an obscure spot but sported several Michigan stars I said sported several Michigan stars Highly rated by Henry Ford's Middle Eastern ancestors One dish was the model T-bone boom boom And the rest is history [Verse 3] Oh Jesus was actually dead for a week Because it was more perfectly balanced out With the seven days it took God to create the heavens and earth Apparently the other gospel writers were either bad at math Or they were trying to hype Jesus up as being a faster reincarnator Unfortunately in their well-intentioned admiration They ruined God's seven and seven [Verse 4] But they got most stuff right Of course all the gospel writers learned Greek on Duolingo So they were prone to linguistic error If they had only written in Aramaic… And when Jesus proofread their stuff His humanity prevented him from knowing Greek God wanted Jesus to feel the full gravity of what it feels like to occasionally be a dumb fuck The freak shall inherit the earth The freak shall inherit the earth oh yeah The freak shall inherit the earth [Outro] The freak shall inherit the earth everybody The freak shall inherit the earth sing it loud The freak shall inherit the earth oh yeah The freak shall inherit freak shall inherit freak shall inherit the earth Cha cha cha