[Verse 1] Dawn breaks gray on linoleum, The washing machine hums its tired hymn. Sorting whites from colors dim, Oh, what a glamorous life I’m in! One sock lost to the void again, A mystery no one can explain. The dryer rattles like a train, Chugging through my dullest day. [Verse 2] Outside, the world is bright and loud, Kids laugh, birds sing, a marching crowd. But here I stand, detergent-proud, Scrubbing at a ketchup stain. Oh, the glamour! Oh, the thrill! Watching spin cycles until My will to live has drained—but still, This laundry won’t do itself. [Chorus] Ohhh, Laundry Day—eternal chore! My kingdom for a broken door! If I could flee, I would—but no, This mountain of socks won’t let me go! The world has parties, love, delight, But I… I fight the endless fight, Against the lint trap’s cruel embrace, And towels that take *forever* to dry! [Verse 3] Lunch is a vending machine delight, A granola bar eaten over bleach white. I’ve memorized each detergent brand, And which ones leave your colors bland. The folding table’s my stage tonight, A one-act play of domestic plight. No audience cheers, no spotlight bright, Just me and my mismatched sheets. [Bridge – Dramatic Crescendo] Is this my fate? Is this my lot? To wage this war that’s long forgot? To know that somewhere, someone’s free, While I… am wed to laundry! [Final Chorus – Big Belt!] Ohhh, Laundry Day—my old foe! Will I escape you? No, I know… Tomorrow brings more socks to fold, More mysteries in pockets old. So here I’ll stay, in suds and sighs, While life just *passes me by! The dullest day, the longest fight— Laundry Day… my curse… my life! [Blackout. A single sock drops from the rafters.] [Final Chorus – Big Belt!] Ohhh, Laundry Day—my old foe! Will I escape you? No, I know… Tomorrow brings more socks to fold, More mysteries in pockets old. So here I’ll stay, in suds and sighs, While life just *passes me by! The dullest day, the longest fight— Laundry Day… my curse… my life! [End]
