[Intro: Weathered older male MC, gravel voice, tractor engine idling] Twenty-two Octobers on the same green seat Tonight the whole crew called in sick. Hold on. [Hook: Weathered older male MC, barking, shouted] Keep your arms in the wagon and your feet off the hay Every monster on the payroll called in sick today So who's in the corn? Don't ask me, I drive Last stop on the hayride, hope you make it out alive [Verse 1: Weathered older male MC, gravel, hard and steady] Twenty-two Octobers on the same green seat Pulling forty paid screamers down a lane of cut wheat Got a werewolf named Kevin and a witch named Dot And a scarecrow kid with the best jump in the lot Six o'clock the phone buzz, then it buzz again Kevin got the flu and Dot got stuck in traffic since ten Scarecrow kid got grounded for a D in math Forty paid tickets and a pitch-black path [Hook: Weathered older male MC, barking, shouted] Keep your arms in the wagon and your feet off the hay Every monster on the payroll called in sick today So who's in the corn? Don't ask me, I drive Last stop on the hayride, hope you make it out alive [Verse 2: Weathered older male MC, double time, out of breath and loud] So I park at the bend, say stay put, I'll be back Hit the rows in my boots with a mask in a sack Cut left through the stalks while the wagon sit still Pop up at the fence with a howl and a drill Sprint back to the seat, wipe my face with a rag Second stop I'm the witch with a broom and a bag Third stop I'm the scarecrow and I don't even blink Fourth stop I'm the wolf on the roof of the shed Fifth stop I'm a farmer with a sack for a head Back in the seat with the sweat on my brow Some kid say, Mister, who doing that now? [Bridge: beat drops to near silence, engine cuts, low gravel voice] Then the engine cut out in the middle of the field No moon, no lamp, just the hay and the wheels And I'm sitting right here with my hands where you see 'em So who's in the corn? [Silence] [Full Band Hits: beat slams back, shouted] I ain't never seen 'em [Verse 3: Weathered older male MC, barking, faster] Turn the key and she cough, then she roar on the third Forty people screaming and they can't find a word Something running with the wagon in the rows on the right Keeping pace with a tractor in fourth gear tonight I don't look, I don't slow, I don't stop for the gate Pull into the barn lot and the line going straight Every rider in it wanna pay for one more ride And the corn on the right still shaking outside Monday Kevin call me, say he feeling alright Told him stay home, buddy, got a new guy for the night [Final Hook: Weathered older male MC, barking, shouted, bell hits] Keep your arms in the wagon and your feet off the hay Every monster on the payroll called in sick today So who's in the corn? Don't ask me, I drive Last stop on the hayride, hope you make it out alive [Outro: Weathered older male MC, gravel, beat rides out and the last bell rings and fades] Twenty-three Octobers on the same green seat And something in the corn keeping time with the beat [End]
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