[Verse 1] Michael Malloy was finally dead, Cold on a table with a tag at his head. Tony poured whiskey and lifted his glass: "Here's to old Michael — the bastard has passed." The papers were signed and the money could flow, And Tony Marino thought nobody would know. After poison and winter, a taxi and gas, The man who wouldn't die was dead at last. [Chorus] Oh Tony, Tony Marino, You can fool a drunk, but the Devil will know. You can bury the body, you can swear and deny, But a secret grows louder the longer you lie. For every time Michael came walking back through, The grave you were digging got deeper for you. Oh Tony, Tony Marino — You killed your man. Now your trouble began. [Verse 2] The insurance men wondered, the stories went wrong, And secrets among thieves don't stay secrets for long. One fellow talked softly, another talked fast, And Tony discovered you can't murder the past. They opened the coffin, they opened the case, And the Murder Trust finally showed its true face, While New York read the story and laughed at the crime Of the man they had murdered one murder at a time. [Chorus] Oh Tony, Tony Marino, There's always one witness you never can know, A bottle, a driver, a word out of place, A dead man's body, a frightened man's face. You thought Michael's grave meant the money was due — But the grave that stayed open was waiting for you. Oh Tony, Tony Marino — You killed your man. Now your trouble began. [Verse 3] At the trial they pointed from one to the next, Every liar put somebody else's name in the text. But the jury heard poison, the winter, the street, The taxi that knocked poor Mike off his feet. They heard about whiskey and gas in the night, How a man kept returning when death lost the fight. And Tony Marino, who'd schemed from his bar, Found Sing Sing much colder than Third Avenue's dark. [Bridge] Iron Mike, Durable Mike, The story crossed the town, The drunk they couldn't finish was the man who brought them down. Michael fought the Reaper every step along the way — But Tony had an appointment the State would make him keep one day. [Verse 4] June the seventh came early, nineteen thirty-four, There were footsteps in the hallway and a key turned in the door. No whiskey on the counter, no customer to cheat, No cold Bronx wind, no taxi rolling down the street. No poisoned glass was waiting, no gas pipe in the wall, Just a chair beneath the lights at the ending of it all. And Tony, who had wondered why Malloy refused to die, Had no miracle waiting when his own last hour arrived. [Final Chorus] Oh Tony, Tony Marino, There's a road every murderer thinks he can know. You can poison the whiskey, make death your design, But you can't make the ending arrive on your time. Michael fought death like a drunk fights the night, But Tony met death in an electric light. Oh Tony, Tony Marino — The man you picked out was so hard to kill, you kept trying until death came for you. [Outro] So remember Third Avenue when the winter winds cry, And raise one glass for Michael, the man who wouldn't die. Then leave one untouched where Marino once stood — For the Devil keeps accounts, boys, and his bookkeeping's good. Michael needed poison, winter, a taxi and gas. Tony needed one chair. One switch. And that was that.
