[Verse 1] [Female Vocal] My alarm goes off at six A.M., I’m feedin’ the dog and cats again. He’s still snorin’ like a chainsaw hum, Dreamin’ ‘bout all the work he ain’t done. The truck needs gas, the fence fell down, The kitchen sink’s about to drown. He stretches, yawns, and scratches his head, Says, [Male Vocal] “Honey, wake me when supper’s ready instead.” [Chorus] [Female Vocal] I’ve got the world’s hardest workin’ lazy man, A professional expert at doin’ nothin’ he can. He’s worn out from nappin’, exhausted from sittin’, Burns all his energy remote control clickin’. Lord, he’s a full-time job all by himself, Layin’ in the bed like a trophy on a shelf. If laziness paid, we’d own half this land, I’ve got the world’s hardest workin’ lazy man. [Verse 2] [Female Vocal] The mower broke in the middle of the yard, I fixed the belt and the spark plug part. He walked outside for a minute or two, Said, [Male Vocal] “Looks like you’ve got that handled, don’t you?” [Female Vocal] I painted walls and repaired the deck, Balanced the budget and paid the checks. He beat another video game campaign, Then told all his buddies he’d had a long day. Chorus I’ve got the world’s hardest workin’ lazy man, A professional expert at doin’ nothin’ he can. He’s worn out from nappin’, exhausted from sittin’, Burns all his energy remote control clickin’. Lord, he’s a full-time job all by himself, Sittin’ on the couch like a trophy on a shelf. If laziness paid, we’d own half this land, I’ve got the world’s hardest workin’ lazy man. Bridge His back starts hurtin’ when the trash needs takin’ out, His allergies flare up when chores come around. But somehow he’s healthy enough every night, To game with the boys till damn near day light. Final Chorus I’ve got the world’s hardest workin’ lazy man, Should get a gold medal for avoidin’ all he can. While I’m changin’ tires and doin’ chores, He’s settin’ new records for gaming scores. I love that fool, but I gotta say, If he ever moved fast it’d ruin his day. Lord, nobody’s better at wastin’ God’s plan, Than my world’s hardest workin’ lazy man. Yeah, he’s the champion… Of doin’ as little as he can.
