[intro] [banjo rapid plucking trying way too hard] [fiddle screeching like a horror movie] [upright bass slap thump] [washboard scrape build] (spoken, way too serious) this… is… EXTREME COUNTRY. [verse 1] [banjo chug rhythm] [fiddle harmony squeals] [stomp stomp washboard] (growl but clearly fake) I woke up mad my tractor’s dead my dog won’t listen and my beer’s gone flat (growl breaks into talking) I don’t know who drank it but I’m gonna assume it was SATAN [pre-chorus] [banjo stop-start riff] [fiddle sliding dramatically] (high-pitched “death” scream) EEE-YEEEEEEEEEEE— (back to growl) —HAAAAAW!! [chorus] [full band yee-haw slam] (graveyard growl, super cheesy) BANJOS OF THE DAAAAAMNED (pluck pluck pluck) YEE-HAW FROM HEEEELL (call-and-response backup vocals) YEE-HAW! HELL-YEAH! BANJOS OF THE DAAAAAMNED WE PICK FAST AND SMELL LIKE HAY [verse 2] [banjo gallop riff] [upright bass slap solo fills] (growl) I sold my soul for a six-string banjo and a coupon for beef jerky (spoken aside) two for one deal, couldn’t pass it up [breakdown] [banjo tuned low as possible] [everyone stomping the floor] [crowd chant] CHANT: PICK! STOMP! YEE! HAW! (fake brutal callout) OPEN THIS PIT— (it’s just a circle of people line dancing) [banjo “guitar solo”] [banjo absolutely SHREDDING] [fiddle dueling solo] [upright bass slap fills] (shouted encouragement) GET IT, CLETUS PLAY THAT THING LIKE IT OWES YOU MONEY [final chorus] [everything louder, faster, dumber] BANJOS OF THE DAAAAAMNED FROM THE BARN TO THE GRAAAVE YEE-HAW! HELL-YEAH! BANJOS OF THE DAAAAAMNED DEATH METAL BUT COUNTRY-MADE [outro] [banjo slows down] [fiddle gentle country ending] (spoken, polite) thank y’all very much we’ll be sellin’ merch by the tractor (fade out with one last aggressive banjo pluck)
