[Intro] Yeah... I know my stats. You know my stats. Everybody knows my stats. I don't give a fuck. Qwilfish... Sudowoodo... Y'all still getting dissed by a fucking Sunkern. That's gotta hurt. [Verse 1] Hundred-eighty total, bitch, I came here with scraps, Thirty down the board, still got better fucking raps. I ain't hiding from the numbers, put 'em up on the screen, I'm statistically trash and I'm still talking mean. Qwilfish, look at you, puffing up for the crowd, Suck a mouthful of water just to make yourself proud. Whole body full of poison, every quill looking lethal, But you're basically a beach ball with anger issues. Inflate that little chest, make yourself look immense, Motherfucker needs hydration just to fake confidence. You got Intimidate? I ain't impressed by the act, Hard to scare a little seed with thirty everything stats. Grass into Water, do the math, little prick, I don't gotta hit hard when the matchup does the trick. You can spit all your poison, shoot your spikes from the reef, I'll be drinking morning dew while you're catching this Leaf. [Pre-Chorus] Yeah, I'm weak. So what? Never said I was the best. But imagine getting roasted by the bottom of the Dex. [Chorus] Minimum stats, maximum disrespect, Thirty down the line, what the fuck did you expect? Tiny little seed with a mouth this reckless, Minimum stats, maximum disrespect. No pseudo, no legend, no six-hundred flex, I came dead last and I'm talking shit next. Check every number, check the whole damn Dex, Minimum stats, maximum disrespect. [Verse 2] Sudowoodo, motherfucker, we need to discuss Why a Rock-type fraud keeps pretending he's us. Fake leaves, fake tree, standing stiff by the road, Route Thirty-Six had your whole identity exposed. You blocked everybody like you ran that route, Till they pulled a SquirtBottle and your ass freaked out. A tree scared of water? That's embarrassing, bro, Even I need morning dew just to get up and grow. You ain't bark, you ain't roots, you ain't photosynthesis, You're geological cosplay with an identity crisis. Got "wood" in your name, but you're stone underneath, That's a fucking Halloween costume with permanent leaves. And Mimic? Yeah, that ability fits, Your whole fucking existence is impersonating shit. At least Qwilfish knows he's a poisonous prick, You woke up as a boulder and started roleplaying sticks. I'm one foot tall, four pounds, barely built to survive, But when the weakest real plant calls your plant shit a lie, Maybe pack up those branches and go sit with the rocks, 'Cause you ain't from my garden. Get the fuck off my block. One toxic, one fake, why this feel like my ex? Thought I left that shit behind, now it's back in the Dex. Same poison, same bullshit, just a different design, Shit, at least you two got warning labels this time. [Chorus] Minimum stats, maximum disrespect, Thirty down the line, what the fuck did you expect? Tiny little seed with a mouth this reckless, Minimum stats, maximum disrespect. No pseudo, no legend, no six-hundred flex, I came dead last and I'm talking shit next. Check every number, check the whole damn Dex, Minimum stats, maximum disrespect. [Verse 3] And don't get it twisted, I remember my past, Spearow saw me for breakfast, I was shaking my ass. Couldn't fight, couldn't run, couldn't do much instead, Just rattled these leaves like, "Please don't eat me, I'm dead." That's canon. Put that shit in the verse. You can't embarrass somebody who already knows they're the worst. I survive off the dew, save my strength when I can, I'm a sunflower seed with no conceivable plan. That's freedom. No pressure when they expect you to suck, Every win is a miracle, every loss is "no shit, fuck." You train EVs for weeks, breed your perfect-ass set, I woke up with six thirties and said, "Good enough, bet." Sunny Day hits, Chlorophyll under my feet, Double thirty Speed... Motherfucker, that's sixty Speed. Still slow. I don't care. I'm conserving my energy. Why run after opps when they keep mentioning me? Qwilfish needs water just to manufacture size, Sudowoodo built a career manufacturing lies. Meanwhile every flaw I got is printed in text, And I'm still standing here with my foot on their necks. Metaphorically. Obviously. Thirty Attack. [Bridge] Qwilfish... Deflate, bitch. Sudowoodo... You're a rock. And before either one of you says anything about my stats... Yeah. I fucking know. [Final Chorus] Minimum stats, maximum disrespect, Hundred-eighty total and I'm cashing the check. Tiny little seed with a mouth this reckless, Minimum stats, maximum disrespect. No dragon, no legend, no mythical flex, Just a pissed little kernel from the bottom of the Dex. You got better stats? Congratulations, I guess. You still got dissed by a fucking Sunkern. [Outro] That's the whole song. I'm tired now. Gotta conserve nutrients. Fuck off.
