FUCK YOU, GLITCHWORTH! [INTRO — Deep, gravelly British voice] Oh, bloody brilliant. Here we go again. Computer's frozen, lost my files, Glitchworth says, “Wait a little while.” A little while?! It's been three days! You absolute bunch of useless prats! [VERSE 1 — Fast British punk rap] Update failed, the screen went black, Clicked one button, can't get back! Sixteen windows, none will close, What the bloody hell is this circus show?! Passwords broken, system's dead, Error messages inside me head! Paid good money for this pile of poo, Oi, Glitchworth, I've had enough of you! [CHORUS — Explosive gang vocals] FUCK YOU, GLITCHWORTH! OI! OI! OI! Sell us rubbish, then tell us why! FUCK YOU, GLITCHWORTH! WHAT A SHAMBLES! Your software's held together with cables! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! HEAR US SHOUT! Turn it off and throw the bloody thing out! You promised gold, delivered glue! GLITCHWORTH TECHNOLOGIES — FUCK YOU! [VERSE 2 — Sarcastic British rap] Customer service? What a joke! Thirty-seven menus before a bloke! “Have you tried restarting it, mate?” YES, YOU MUPPET! NOW IT'S EVEN LATE! New update, new disaster, Every bloody click makes the computer go faster— Straight into a wall of digital despair, With a spinning little circle that lives in there! [BREAKDOWN — Heavy guitars, pounding drums] ERROR! PANIC! SYSTEM'S GONE! GLITCHWORTH SAYS, “JUST CARRY ON!” OI! OI! OI! WHAT A LOAD OF RUBBISH! OI! OI! OI! YOUR WHOLE SYSTEM'S CRUMBLING! [FINAL CHORUS — Massive crowd vocals] FUCK YOU, GLITCHWORTH! OI! OI! OI! We're sick of hearing your corporate lies! FUCK YOU, GLITCHWORTH! THAT'S THE TRUTH! Your software's got the lifespan of a rotten tooth! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! LET IT BE KNOWN! Even the bloody kettle works better at home! Unplug the lot, let the silence ring! GLITCHWORTH TECHNOLOGIES — YOU USELESS THING! [OUTRO — Spoken in a thick British accent] Right. Lovely. Computer's working now. Oh, brilliant. It's asking me to update. YOU HAVE GOT TO BE TAKING THE PISS! [FINAL SOUND] Windows error-style chime followed by a massive distorted guitar crash.
