JINGLE HELL ZYRO [Intro — Sweet Christmas Music Box] [Soft, Innocent Bells] [Deep Spoken Voice] Oh, what a beautiful Christmas. Snowflakes. Smiling faces. Peace on Earth. [Record Scratch] Yeah, fuck that. [Massive Distorted Sleigh Bell Drop] [Chorus — Aggressive, Shouted Rhythmic Rap] JINGLE HELL! Ring that motherfucking bell! JINGLE HELL! Got a story I could tell! Snow on the roof, bass in the street, Santa’s having nightmares When he hears my beat! JINGLE HELL! Let the whole town shake! JINGLE HELL! Watch the Christmas lights break! Ho-ho-hold up, what the hell? Welcome to December— Welcome to JINGLE HELL! [Verse 1 — Fast, Aggressive Rap] Three in the morning, got a carol at my door, Same damn Christmas song I’ve heard a thousand times before. Got a neighbor with a speaker and a reindeer on the lawn, Got a hundred little reasons why I wish the lights were gone. Shopping mall screaming, got the checkout line bleeding, Everybody overspending, nobody really sleeping. Got a plastic little snowman with a creepy little grin, And a Santa in the corner looking like he’s giving in. [Flow Switch — Rapid Staccato] Click-clack, gift wrap, price tag, heart attack, Snowball, phone call, big mall, fall back. Red hat, black bag, jet lag, zigzag, Whole damn Christmas season running like a madhouse! [Pre-Chorus — Deep, Threatening Whisper] Can you hear those bells? [Distorted Bell Ring] That’s not heaven. That’s the sound of— [Silence] HELL! [Chorus — Explosive Industrial Bass] JINGLE HELL! Ring that motherfucking bell! JINGLE HELL! Got a story I could tell! Snow on the roof, bass in the street, Santa’s having nightmares When he hears my beat! JINGLE HELL! Let the whole town shake! JINGLE HELL! Watch the Christmas lights break! Ho-ho-hold up, what the hell? Welcome to December— Welcome to JINGLE HELL! [Verse 2 — Ultra-Fast Technical Rap] I’m a seasonal catastrophe, a festive little tragedy, A lyrical abnormality with questionable sanity. Got a habit of dismantling the holiday mentality, A practical example of December’s brutality! [Flow Accelerates — Machine-Gun Rap] Decoration devastation, retail desperation, Mandatory celebration, seasonal frustration. Artificial stimulation, financial complication, Everybody needs a vacation from the fucking celebration! [Triplet Flow — Increasing Intensity] Jingle-jangle, bells are banging, every angle, people panicking, I’m attacking every pattern, got the speakers overloading. Got the rhythm ricocheting, every syllable detonating, And the whole damn North Pole’s probably calling for evacuation! [Beat Switch — Half-Time, Deep Voice] I don’t hate Christmas. I hate the madness. The fake smiles. The forced happiness. [Pause] And that fucking song They play every five minutes. [Industrial Drum Fill] [Final Rap — Explosive Double-Time] Big bass, snowflakes, no brakes, earthquake, Black coat, cold face, whole place, bass shake. No sleep, full speed, heart beat, concrete, Christmas in the city with the devil in the drumbeat! [Final Chorus — Maximum Aggression] JINGLE HELL! Ring that motherfucking bell! JINGLE HELL! Got a story I could tell! Snow on the roof, bass in the street, Santa’s having nightmares When he hears my beat! JINGLE HELL! Let the whole town shake! JINGLE HELL! Watch the Christmas lights break! Ho-ho-hold up, what the hell? Welcome to December— Welcome to JINGLE HELL! [Outro — Deep, Dry Spoken Voice] Merry Christmas. Turn the fucking music down. [One Tiny Sleigh Bell] …Except mine. ZYRO. [Final Distorted Bass Hit]
