Thanks for the Chair [Verse 1] I laughed when you said, “Took you long enough” Like you hadn’t had two legs all year You slid that old chair a little closer I smiled and cracked my beer Said, “Careful there, you’re getting bold now” You grinned like you’d won something fair I tucked my feet beneath me Said, “Well, thanks for the chair” [Verse 2] We talked about the guy on Maple Mows at seven every Saturday You said he cuts those lines so straight The grass is scared to grow the wrong way Then that little dog came charging At a truck three times its size You said, “Meanest thing on four legs” I laughed until I cried [Pre-Chorus] Then you nodded toward the corner house Said, “Bet she knows you’re here” I looked up just in time to see A curtain disappear [Chorus] We laughed so hard we couldn’t breathe You nearly spilled your beer Said, “By morning we’ll be married” I said, “Divorced by breakfast, dear” Thunder rolled, our knees touched once And something hung there in the air I took another drink and smiled Safe and easy in my chair [Verse 3] You asked if I keep tabs on you Since I knew your trash-day crime I shrugged and said, “It’s a small street” And watched the lightning split the sky You told me ’bout your brother I told you ’bout my old Chevrolet Funny how two people twenty yards apart Can find that much to say [Pre-Chorus] The rain came soft along the roof Your shoulder brushed against mine For half a second neither moved Then I reached for my beer in time [Chorus] We laughed about the neighborhood And every fool we knew You did a damn good impression Of the mailman’s little wave at two The storm rolled east, the air went still Water dripping everywhere And for a while it really was A pretty damn good chair [Bridge] Then I tipped my bottle upside down One last drop and that was that I stood and smoothed my sweater You looked up and said, “Already?” I glanced out where the rain had stopped Street shining black beneath the light Said, “Beer’s gone, storm’s moving on I oughta call it a night” [Final Chorus] You walked me to the edge of the porch Like maybe there was more to say I smiled the same way I had all night Then turned to walk away Bare feet back across the asphalt Cool rain still in my hair I called, “Had fun—goodnight, neighbor And thanks again for the chair” [Outro] My porch light clicked on across the street Yours stayed burning where you were Two empty bottles Two chairs sitting close And down on the corner… That curtain moved once more.
