Open in Case of Me

[Intro] [Instrumental only: a tape-deck click and brief hiss, then one bar of solo stomping piano. No vocals.] [Verse 1] [Brassy sung lead, winking, conversational but rhythmic] Is this thing on? Okay. Hi — it's me. You found the yellow envelope I taped where you would see. Don't make that face — yeah, that one — I know you all too well. That's exactly why I planned this whole thing out myself. The dress code is pastels. No black. Don't fight me on this. I know that it's a funeral. But it's MY funeral. I win. [Pre-Chorus] [Lifting, grin widening] I picked the band and booked the room, I bought the good champagne, every box is checked but one — and sugar, you're the one (you're the one!) [Chorus] [Full band slams in, euphoric stomp-and-clap, gang vocals on response lines only] Everybody look alive! (look alive!) You're all invited (RSVP!) The open bar's on me (on me!) I couldn't save the date — so save the last dance for me (save the last dance for me) [Verse 2] [Sung lead, quicker patter, affectionate] There's a seating chart. Don't groan — you know exactly why. Put Ray beside the speakers: he'll complain, but he won't leave. Keep the cousins off the open mic until they've had their cry, and if that slideshow's set to Coldplay, I will haunt the booth. Believe. And no, there's no moment of silence. Don't look at me like that. I've had my fill of quiet rooms. I'm never going back. [Pre-Chorus] [Building, warmer] I wrote the toasts for those who can't, I paid the band till two, every box is checked but one — and sugar, you're the one (you're the one!) [Chorus] [Full band, euphoric, slightly harder] Everybody look alive! (look alive!) You're all invited (RSVP!) The open bar's on me (on me!) I couldn't save the date — so save the last dance for me (save the last dance for me) [Bridge] [Band cuts to solo piano. Lead vocal intimate but sung, armor finally off] Okay — the tape is running out, so quick, before it does: I'm not brave. I'm organized. I know that there's a difference. I signed the forms while my hands still remembered my own name, 'cause grief is mostly paperwork — and I've done yours in advance. So on the worst day of your life, your only job is dancing. There's a playlist in the envelope. Track four is yours. You'll know. Don't you skip it 'cause it hurts. That's me, still asking you to dance. [Held moment] [Solo piano, almost bare, tender] So if you're hearing this... the envelope got opened. And look at that. You came. You all came. [Final Chorus] [Full band and horns detonate, biggest and brightest, key lift] Look at you — you look so alive! (so alive!) You all showed up for me (you came!) The open bar's on me (on me!) I couldn't save the date — but you saved the last dance for me (saved the last dance for me) [Outro] [Band softens to piano and handclaps, warm, smiling] That's all the tape I bought, my loves. The rest is up to you. Don't save a seat for me tonight — I've got the best one in the house. [A single tape-deck click, then silence]