[Verse 1] When your gal wants to play, Do a little backseat ballet — Hide the salami! And the girl down the block, She can’t get enough of your… talk — Hide the salami! [Pre-Chorus] Pants go fling-ding-ling-a-ding, Every guy needs a bella queen. It’s so dark — Tippy tippy tippy tippy t! Just make sure it ain't a fella, please. [Chorus] When you nail your prom date, And next week she says she’s late — Hide the salami! Yeah, that girl gets around, Gives more rides than a Greyhound — Hide the salami! Pants go fling-ding-ling, oh man — Every gal needs a daddy with a plan. It’s so dark — Tippy tippy tippy tippy t! Don’t settle for a fatty if she eats your ham! [Verse 2] When you find a loose woman, Had more pricks than a pin cushion — Hide the salami! And if you’re feeling kinda smothered, Mail it off to your best friend’s mother — Hide the salami! [Pre-Chorus] Pants go fling-ding-ling-a-ding, Every sinner needs salvation’s swing. It’s so dark — Tippy tippy tippy tippy t! Every guy needs a little… self-care spree. [Bridge – Spoken Blues Style] Oh, she said it was great… You done stirred up a big ol’ plate. But boy, next time keep your stick in the drawer — Or you'll be hidin' from the law! [Final Chorus] When you nail your prom date, And the test says she’s late — Hide the salami! Oh that tsunami’s on the way, Better learn to kneel and pray — Hide the salami! Pants still fling-ding-ling, oh yeah! Every dog needs a bone to spare. It’s so dark — Tippy tippy tippy tippy t! Now go on, tuck it in, and say a prayer!
