[INTRO – LIVE SOUSAPHONE AND DRUM KIT] [Deep, rounded sousaphone bass riff. Snare taps, then kick and toms. Trumpets answer with a sharp live-band fanfare. Crowd cheers.] [DEX – SPOKEN, CHEEKY] Brighton! One more? And Alfie, mate, that big bit of brass isn't hiding you. Boys, give him some room! One, two, three, FOUR! [VERSE 1 – DEX, RHYTHMIC MELODIC SINGING] [Low sousaphone bassline under steady live drums.] Sun-and-moon tie and his glasses riding low, There's a lad at the back who can run the whole show. Big brass circle and a rhythm in his shoes, One note from the bell and the whole place moves. His grandad taught him how to make those low notes ring, Now he's got the walls rattling every time he swings. Catch him at the bar and he'll barely say a thing, But give him that bassline and watch the whole room sing. [PRE-CHORUS – SNARE ROLLS, HORNS CLIMB] Give him the rhythm, give him some room, Feel that low brass shaking the floor. Brighton, you've been waiting all night, Tell me what you're waiting for! [CHORUS – ALL BRASS AND LIVE DRUMS] [Trumpets lead the melody; deep sousaphone stays on bass.] HE'S GOT A SOO-ZUH-PHONE! (Hey!) Big brass heart and a dangerous groove! HE'S GOT A SOO-ZUH-PHONE! (Hey!) Watch those hips when he starts to move! [DEX – CALL; CROWD – GROUP ANSWER] What's he got? (SOO-ZUH-PHONE!) What's he got? (SOO-ZUH-PHONE!) [DEX – SUNG] Let that low brass roll, let the whole room know, He's got a SOO-ZUH-PHONE! [INSTRUMENTAL – FOUR BARS OF HORN RIFFS] [Trumpets play a bold hook; trombones answer with slides. Low sousaphone keeps the bass rhythm steady. Snare and tom fill.] [VERSE 2 – DEX, WARM AND TEASING] Five minutes till showtime, he's fixing my sleeve, Then he's got the front row forgetting how to breathe. He'll run a game night with a twenty-sided die, But call him handsome and he can't meet your eye. Yorkshire in his vowels, got a laugh you can't miss, And a signature move that goes something like this. Claims he's only here to keep the band in time, Then he rolls those shoulders and the crowd goes wild. [SHORT BUILD – BRASS AND SNARE] Go on, Alfie, show them what you do! Every pair of eyes is turning to you. [DEX – SPOKEN; BAND CUTS OUT] Brighton, you know the cue! [CHORUS – CROWD LOUDER, HORNS FULLER] HE'S GOT A SOO-ZUH-PHONE! (Hey!) Big brass heart and a dangerous groove! HE'S GOT A SOO-ZUH-PHONE! (Hey!) Watch those hips when he starts to move! What's he got? (SOO-ZUH-PHONE!) What's he got? (SOO-ZUH-PHONE!) Let that low brass roll, let the whole room know, He's got a SOO-ZUH-PHONE! [LOW SOUSAPHONE BASS FEATURE – TWELVE BARS] [Trumpets and trombones rest. Alfie plays a thick low-register bass groove, with short offbeat notes and long resonant tones. Real kick, snare and toms answer the bass. No fast high notes or flashy melody.] [DEX – SPOKEN, LAUGHING] Go on, Alf! That's it! [One deep sousaphone note. Drums stop.] [BREAK – STOMPS, CLAPS AND LOW BRASS] [DEX – SPOKEN, CONSPIRATORIAL] Right, Brighton... You know he's got one more trick. What do we want? [CROWD – GROUP CHANT] WIGGLE! WIGGLE! WIGGLE! [DEX] Can't hear you! [CROWD – LOUDER] WIGGLE! WIGGLE! WIGGLE! [DEX – LAUGHING] Look at him! He's actually doing it! [THE WIGGLE – FULL BAND RETURNS] [Acoustic drums thunder back with rolling toms and cymbal crashes. Sousaphone plays its deepest, funkiest repeating bass riff. Trumpets and trombones punch in above it. Crowd stomps.] [CROWD] WIGGLE! WIGGLE! WIGGLE! [Band stops on a single sharp note.] [DEX – SHOUTED, GRINNING] ABSOLUTELY SHAMELESS! [FINAL CHORUS – HUGE LIVE BRASS FINALE] HE'S GOT A SOO-ZUH-PHONE! (Hey!) Big brass heart and a dangerous groove! HE'S GOT A SOO-ZUH-PHONE! (Hey!) Watch those hips when he starts to move! What's he got? (SOO-ZUH-PHONE!) What's he got? (SOO-ZUH-PHONE!) Let that low brass roll, let the whole room know, He's got a SOO-ZUH-PHONE! [OUTRO – BAND FINALE, NO ELECTRONIC EFFECTS] [Snare roll. Trumpets fanfare, trombones slide, sousaphone repeats its low opening bass riff.] [DEX – SPOKEN CALL] Brighton! WHO'S GOT A SOO-ZUH-PHONE? [CROWD – ROARING] HE'S GOT A SOO-ZUH-PHONE! [One tight, massive live brass chord. Bass drum and cymbal crash. Low sousaphone finishes alone; cheers.] [END]
