Shredded Cheese at the Fridge Door

Barefoot creeping on the linoleum tiles Clock strikes three, the inner goblin smiles The hum of the compressor is my siren song I’ve been waiting for this moment all night long Pull the fridge handle real slow and slick Prayin’ that the magnet on the door doesn’t stick The light hits my eyes like a flashbang grenade Welcome to the machine where the monsters are made Pupils dilated in the icy blue glow Ignoring all the lettuce sitting down below I bypass the hummus, I bypass the ham You know exactly who the hell I am! Shredded cheese at the fridge door! Fistful of cheddar, dropping shreds on the floor! Goblin in the kitchen, living for the bite Choking on the dairy in the freezing cold light! Yeah, shredded cheese at the fridge door! Got one fist full, then I’m grabbing for more! Bag of Sharp Mexican, bag of Colby Jack Don't need a plate, just need a snack Claw in the bag like a claw-machine game Stuffing up my face with no dignity or shame Eat the shredded cheese with a wild-eyed stare Got cheese dust stuck in my midnight hair I’m crouching real low like a beast in the wild A thirty-year-old fully grown feral child Pupils dilated in the icy blue glow Ignoring all the lettuce sitting down below I bypass the hummus, I bypass the ham You know exactly who the hell I am! Shredded cheese at the fridge door! Fistful of cheddar, dropping shreds on the floor! Goblin in the kitchen, living for the bite Choking on the dairy in the freezing cold light! Yeah, shredded cheese at the fridge door! Got one fist full, then I’m grabbing for more! O Holy Lactose, hear my desperate plea! Why melt on a taco when you could feed me? A single shredded strand falls on my bare toe A tragic waste of dairy in the darkness below! Gulp it! Swallow! Chew it real fast! Pray to the Gods that this ectasy lasts! Did I hear a footstep? Did I hear a gasp? I clutch the bag tight in my feral little grasp Lick the seal clean, shove it way in the back Hiding all the evidence of my goblin attack Creep back to the bedroom, silent and slick With a stomach full of Mozzarella six inches thick Pupils dilated in the icy blue glow Ignoring all the lettuce sitting down below I bypass the hummus, I bypass the ham You know exactly who the hell I am! Shredded cheese at the fridge door! Fistful of cheddar, dropping shreds on the floor! Goblin in the kitchen, living for the bite Choking on the dairy in the freezing cold light! Yeah, shredded cheese at the fridge door! Got one fist full, then I’m grabbing for more! Fridge door shuts Cold light dies Standing in the dark with my yellow-stained eyes Mouth full of Monterey Jack No turning back Goblin mode supreme Goodnight