Everybody brought something Pot on the stove Bread on the counter Bottles by the door Somebody made the chicken Somebody brought the rice Somebody's cutting vegetables Arguing 'bout the size I usually bring something too That's important Makes me feel like I earned the chair I'm sitting in But this particular evening Was a motherfucker of a day I showed up late Empty-handed Almost turned around halfway Walked through the doorway apologizing "Man, I'm sorry I got nothing" Somebody looked up from the kitchen Said, "Okay You hungry?" Wait That's it? No inventory? No little scale To see if what I brought Was worth the space I take? I don't know why that bothered me But it did 'Cause apparently Somewhere along the way I started keeping receipts For belonging Who brought what? Who helped who? Who owes who? How useful have I been lately? Damn That's an exhausting way To eat dinner Maybe there's a chair That doesn't need to be earned Maybe there's a plate That gets filled Before anybody asks What you brought Maybe some nights What you contribute Is showing up hungry I don't know That one's uncomfortable Pass the rice Everybody's talking over everybody Kid drops a fork Dog's under the table Running an unauthorized cleanup operation Somebody tells the same story I've heard at least six times Everybody laughs anyway And nobody seems concerned That I arrived with empty hands So I start helping Habit Grab some plates Start clearing things Guy beside me says, "Sit down, man We'll get it later" I say, "Nah, I got it" He says, "I know Sit down anyway" Oh There it is Apparently I can turn receiving Into another fucking job You give me food I wash dishes You give me time I owe you time You help me once I start looking around For the fastest way To make the ledger even Like kindness is a debt I can't stand carrying overnight Maybe there's a chair That doesn't need to be earned Maybe there's a plate That gets filled Before anybody asks What you brought Maybe some nights What you contribute Is showing up hungry And letting somebody feed you Fuck That might be harder 'Cause giving lets me feel strong Receiving asks me To believe something stranger That maybe I still have value When I'm not producing any That's annoying I liked community better When I was carrying the couch At least my hands had a job Now I'm sitting at a table With nothing to prove And somehow That's making me sweat more So I look around Woman who cooked Isn't eating yet She's making sure Everybody else has enough Guy who bought groceries Gets up to grab her a plate Kid who dropped the fork Breaks his cookie in half For somebody smaller Nobody announces it Nobody says: COMMUNITY IS IMPORTANT Thank God They're just moving care around Like it belongs to everybody There it is again Circulation But I missed something last time Circulation only works If somebody receives Everybody can't be the giver At the same damn time A river that refuses To be downstream Ain't generous It's a traffic jam Ha Okay That's useful Maybe receiving Isn't the opposite of giving Maybe it's one of the places Giving has to go Maybe there's a chair That doesn't need to be earned Maybe there's a plate That gets filled Because you're already here Some nights Bring the bread Some nights Wash the dishes Some nights Bring the story Some nights Bring the laugh And some nights Maybe come exactly as empty As the day left you And let the table Still call you one of us No Hold on There's a shadow on this too Belonging doesn't mean Everybody gets a chair
