---------------------------- Lyrics by : Kathlene Rushing © 2025 Kathlene Rushing original music by creator – full rights owned All rights reserved. ---------------------------- [Intro - Spoken] Now this is the story All about how Donny boy tried to take Harvard down— And if you got a minute and a sense of humor, I’ll tell ya how he turned a college fight Into a political rumor. [Verse 1 - Talking Blues] It started on a Tuesday, With a tweet at 3 a.m., Donald said: “Harvard’s woke and broke— We oughta defund them.” Now I ain’t one to meddle, But the man’s on a roll, First it was dishwashers, now it’s higher-ed control. He said, “They teach lies! They hate me, see? Their degrees are just liberal conspiracies!” Then he paused… Took a sip of Diet Coke… And blamed Harvard for COVID, the weather, and the price of eggs, And I think he threw in Beyoncé for fun. [Chorus - Sung with a twang] Oh, Donald’s got a feud with Harvard U, Said, “Those Ivy snobs don’t have a clue!” He tried to sue ‘em, boo ‘em, blacklist the crew— But the only thing he got was a meme or two. [Verse 2 - Spoken] He marched up to Cambridge With a red tie flappin’, Tried to sit in a lecture— Till they caught him nappin’. He said, “I should teach! I got lots to say!” But the syllabus just said: No fascists today. He wanted a PhD in “Winning Bigly,” Told the dean, “My brain is very figly.” That’s not a word— But it was on Fox News later. [Bridge - Musical Interlude with kazoo solo] 🎶 (Kaaa-zoooooo! 🎺 Bwwaaaap!) 🎶 Because no folk satire is complete Without a ridiculous kazoo. [Verse 3 - Spoken] He said, “Harvard’s deep state!” and “Harvard’s corrupt!” But turns out his SATs were… a little abrupt. He offered them Trump Steaks, and some MAGA swag— They gave him a pamphlet… and a nice white flag. He tried to build a wall around the Yard, But the squirrels just tunneled under it—real hard. Even the statues gave him side-eye glare, Especially that one of John Harvard’s chair. [Final Chorus - Sung with exaggerated drama] So if you’re feelin’ edgy, and you wanna start a war, Just pick a college with ivy on the door. But if you’re wearin’ spray tan and yellin’ fake news, You might lose a battle to some educated shoes. [Outro - Spoken] And that’s the story, folks—of how Donald Trump Tried to drop the mic on Harvard… But instead he dropped his approval rating And a Big Mac. The end.
