Aliens. Babes. Explosions. I’m your worst nightmare… and your best party. Vegas lit up like a neon grave, Aliens swarming, think they’re brave. I strolled in with my shades on tight, Said, “Time to kick ass… and chew bubblegum, all night.” EDF? They ran away, Octobrains? They’re toast today. I got my guns, my ammo, my flair, Nothing like a Duke to clear the air. They wanted Earth… they got a fight, They didn’t check if I bite. They thought they’d win with alien tech, I said, “Hey losers… check your neck!” Hail to the king, baby! Lasers, bombs, and babes, oh yeah! Hail to the king, baby! Aliens screaming in despair! From rooftops to the desert sand, Duke’s in town, guns in hand. If it moves, I’ll crush it dead— Or just punch it… like I said. Emperor Cycloid? Big and mean, I shot him once… he turned green. “You need a hug?” I joked aloud, Then dropped him straight into the crowd. Babes locked up? I set them free, “Don’t touch the merch, it’s mine, see?” Explosions everywhere, can’t complain, Aliens dying? Yeah… that’s my game. They tried invasion. I tried sarcasm. Guess who won? hint: It’s me. Hail to the king, baby! Earth’s defender, hellraiser supreme! Hail to the king, baby! I’m your nightmare, and your dream! Aliens? Obliterated. Babes? Rescued. Explosions? Plenty. Still awesome.
