🎤 The Cousin MC – Master of Ceremonies 🎤 The cousin who tags along A new specimen from Spain Always has something to say If he’s in a good mood, he’ll make you laugh And drive the waiter completely bonkers. “Everyone out! I want a black coffee!” Before leaving—pay the bill, of course. “Another beer, but no foam, I shaved this morning.” Do you really shave with beer? Strange ritual! “Waiter, top up my glass, this one has a hole.” That hole’s already paid for! “Do you sell beer without alcohol?” “Of course!” “And why?” “It’s served… invisibly.” Better close the windows! You’ll be delighted. “Long drink, but hold the Coke—I’ve got an early start.” XL shot, ice only, caffeine optional. “What’s the point of staring at the stars when you can drink them?” Five-Star beer, straight to your imagination! “Yesterday I drank like a lawyer and lost my mind.” Slurred speech—typical for that vice. “Do me a favor and take the air out of the glass.” Done, here’s another! “Coffee and a knife—I want it cut.” Cut it with flair, naturally! Cousin on the attack with jokes and rhythm At the bar, at the table, he cracks everyone up Golden, platinum lines—pure nonsense humor. He’s the king of cousinhood, leaving others red-faced. And the Cousin couldn’t care less. “Boss, bring me a plate of chicken wings—but don’t let them fly away.” If hunger’s coming, they’ll land in the stomach, chirping! “Plate of Iberian ham—but shhh, don’t tell anyone.” The kitchen already knows—I’ve got his back! “For dessert, mille-feuille—but count them, in case any vanish.” More than expected? Lucky day! “Whisky cake—but remove the cake.” Whisky straight to the vein—no nonsense! Enjoy life—it only lasts two days! “Is this a wartime ration?” It’s gourmet, fight for it! “Don’t eat, it’s bad.” Says the one who already sampled it with cheeks full. “Did you plate this for me to take away?” Empty plates make no sense at all! A plate falls to the floor. “I’ll wash that.” And he doesn’t lift a finger. Kept his promise! Christmas dinner: “Well, boy, how many girlfriends now?” Awkward question to bother the nephew. The waiter clears the empty plate: “Didn’t like anything, did we?” What nerve that guy has! Cousin on the attack with jokes and rhythm At the bar, at the table, he cracks everyone up Golden, platinum lines—pure nonsense humor. King of cousinhood, leaving others red-faced. And the Cousin couldn’t care less. “Take the price off the bill—it’s a gift.” Elegant proposal! Let’s call it a bonus. “Boss, is this in pesetas?” Nostalgia of old times… “Tell me what I owe and why it’s so much.” “It comes with VAT!”—disappointment ensues. “The fine, the fright, the bill, the inevitable, the painful, the unthinkable”— Synonyms for fear of paying. The cure and a free meal? “Let the godfather foot the bill!” Proposed with full audacity by the Cousin. “Waiter, bring me the bill… and a slow policeman.” Trying to be ‘charming’… or just foolish. “Are you a believer? Then may God pay for you.” Faith moves mountains—or at least avoids the bill! “Waiter, bring the note… and a hammer for the nail.” Bragging about the bill, then publishing it! “I want a Zero Coke… like the tip I’ll leave.” Invisible tip, naturally. “You insisted on presiding over the table and showing off, Cousin.” Better pay the bill—you earned it! The Cousin, with personal style, Soul of every casual gathering, Unashamed in his role as the impertinent joker.
