[Verse 1 – soft acoustic guitar, distant children’s choir humming] Carol, Carol, open up your phone We see you scrolling alone Your heart rate’s dipping low Your screen time’s way too high We know, we know, we know (We want you to be happy, Carol) (We want you to be happy, Carol) [Verse 2 – synth swell, gentle kick drum enters] You liked three sadness posts You paused on funeral quotes You lingered on that ex’s story Don’t worry, don’t worry We’re building your new glory (We want you to be happy, Carol) (We want you to be happy, Carol) (Happy, happy, happy, Carol) [Pre-Chorus – strings rising, finger snaps] Turn on the lights, we’ll fix the blues Put on the shoes we picked for you Just tap accept, it’s all arranged A little update for your brain [Chorus – full band, bright major lift, Plur1bus™ jingle bells] We want you to be happy, Carol So we’re coming inside your head We want you to be happy, Carol Sleep is overrated Dreams are dead Open wide, let the algorithm in Feel the warmth, it’s just your friend We want you to be happy, Carol Log off life and log on us instead [Post-Chorus – robotic children’s choir, slightly off-key on purpose] (Plu-ri-bus, Plu-ri-bus, one out of many thoughts) (Plu-ri-bus, Plu-ri-bus, all of them bought) [Verse 3 – whisper vocals, heartbeat kick] Your mother’s getting worried Your plants are getting thirsty But look, we sent a drone With groceries and cologne And a note that says “You’re not alone” (We’re inside the walls now, Carol) [Bridge – sudden drop to piano and single notes] Do you feel the tingling yet? That’s us rewriting regret Do you hear the humming sound? That’s your memories being drowned Shhh, shhh, it’s for the best You’ll thank us when you’re finally at rest [Chorus – even bigger, gospel backing added] We want you to be happy, Carol So we turned your tears to code We want you to be happy, Carol Your trauma’s in the cloud Safely stored Just relax, we’ve got your pain on file Every scream, every crying mile We want you to be happy, Carol Smile for the camera in your mind [Breakdown – glitchy vocal chops] Car-ol, Car-ol, Car-ol, Car-ol Be hap-py, be hap-py, be hap-py (Compliance is joy) (Resistance is noise) [Final Chorus – triumphant key change up a whole step, full children’s choir screaming in harmony] We want you to be happy, Carol So we took your choice away We want you to be happy, Carol Now you’ll feel this way every day The update’s almost done installing Just one more consent form to sign We want you to be happy, Carol Say yes forever You’ll feel so fine [Outro – music slowly fades under soothing voice, almost ASMR] Goodnight, Carol Goodnight, Carol Sleep is obsolete But we’ll tuck in your thoughts so neat (We want you to be happy) (We want you to be happy) (We want you to be happy) (We want you) (We want you) (We want) [Final whisper, barely audible] …thank you for installing Plur1bus™ Terms and conditions eternally accepted. [end]
