This failure hurt me, I was upset, This tactless, crude manner, But how could he know who was hiding behind your mask, Who had never surrendered to burning love. This bitterness hurt me, These many words poured on me, Inexpressible worldly disappointment, Nothing but a cynical attack, Nothing like this has ever hurt me. It hurts that I was like this, And it hurts that you were like this, You didn't even give me a chance, Even if it seemed to you, Because the effort was in vain, If in the meantime, you didn't even think about me... It hurts that I was a coward, That I couldn't break through your armor, I was incapable, I didn't even try... As if you wanted it this way all along, I was nothing more than the old toy of your whims. You know, it's not that I'm just a disturbing memory now, But that I've just realized, That without courage here, I know I can't stay anymore, I'm dying.. Because what's the point of this existence, If you don't do what your heart wants, If you're only afraid, if you just beg, wait, ask, You torment yourself and deceive yourself, And you don't dare and don't walk the path you want... And tell me, what's the point of the heart, If you don't show your feelings to anyone, If you cowardly back down, close yourself off and are afraid, Just like I did with you, If you don't risk everything you have, And give it to me. Because it has to be done, You have to try even if it kills you, You will do it anyway... But at least once in your life you lived, Even if you were trembling and afraid... I didn't dare now, I just watched, I just stared, And in the meantime I did nothing, Just like in the past, I waited for the miracle, To come with you or without you. I promise myself, I won't again, I promise, because I can't let go once again, To let go of what and who I believe in even a little bit, In whom and in myself I see a chance, That's why I'll hold on, that's why I'll do it.
