[Intro: The Left-Handed Stumble] [0:00 - 0:15] [Tempo: 140 BPM, Key: A Major, Sloppy Acoustic Punk] [An acoustic guitar tries to play a fast punk riff but it buzzes and flubs—the player is holding it upside down] [Drums stumble in late, hitting a rim instead of the snare because the kit is backwards] (Female Vocal - quirky, fast-paced, slight Missouri twang): One, two, wait, where's the high hat? Whatever, go! [Verse 1: The Southie Sniper] [0:15 - 0:40] [The band finds a messy, clunky rhythm but keeps rushing the beat] Perched up on the fort down at Castle Island, Watching all the locals and the tourists smiling. They wait in line at Sullivan's for half the day, But I’m just waiting up above to make them pay. Here comes Jessica, walking out the door, Holding a hot dog that she won't be eating anymore! I lock on the target, I drop from the sky, I hear the people screaming as I go flying by! [Chorus: The Apex Predator] [0:40 - 1:05] [ALL CAPS - CHAOTIC PUNK ENERGY! DRUMMER MISSES A CYMBAL CRASH!] (Female Vocal - belting, aggressive acoustic punk!): 'Cause I’m a motherfucking seagull, yeah yeah! I’m a motherfucking seagull! Yeah yeah! Seagulls are the best! I’m a fucking seagull! I’m a motherfucking seagull, yeah yeah! [Verse 2: The Warning Signs] [1:05 - 1:30] [The guitarist plays a completely wrong chord, stops, and slides to the right one] (Female Vocal - singing right through the mistake with attitude): You can read the warning signs they put up on the wall, But I'm the king of Southie and I'm gonna take it all. I saw the ketchup gleaming in the summer sun, I swooped right at her head and took the dog and the bun! I don't feel bad, I don't feel no shame, I'm eating like a boss and I don't even know your name! [Bridge: The Trainwreck] [1:30 - 1:55] [The music completely falls apart for a second] [The drummer tries to do a tom fill but hits the microphone stand with a loud CLANG] (Female Vocal - laughing slightly but staying in character): Whoa, keep playing, keep playing! You think you own the beach? You think you own the sky? I'll take your french fries next, look me in the eye! [Chorus: The Getaway] [1:55 - 2:30] [THE BAND PUSHES THROUGH THE CHAOS FOR ONE LAST MESSY CHORUS!] (Female Vocal - screaming over the sloppy acoustic guitar): I’m a motherfucking seagull, yeah yeah! I’m a motherfucking seagull! Yeah yeah! Seagulls are the best! I’m a fucking seagull! I’m a motherfucking seagull, yeah yeah! [Outro: The Escape] [2:30 - 2:50] [The guitar rhythm completely derails] (Female Vocal - spoken, out of breath): Yeah, enjoy your empty napkin. [Drummer drops a stick on the floor] [Clean Abrupt Stop] [End]
