(You're really Trying to come for ME- Santa claus!?!?) (Let me remind you whose in charge around here) Lazy ass works one day then spends the rest of the year playing hookie Tried to put him on a diet but he demands milk with a chocolate chip cookie He might be developing demencha cause he forgets why he can't I know what's best - Santa claus remember your lactose intoleranT! How about ho ho- NO! How about ho ho- NO! Oh and HR just called - you can't keep putting women on the naughty list Shut your mouth i dont care how many ho ho ho's you've kissed Santa stop the fake tears you ain't even capable of remorse Seriously?! All i want for christmas- is a god- damn- divorce!!! I've been seeing krampus anyways - you know - the king of sin? He likes coming down my chimney- I can tell by his grin Calls me his beauty - and let me tell you - that man is a- Beast!!! So keep chugging that milk and stuffing your face with your feasT! Oh! the reindeer called - they been complaining their back hurts cause you keep gaining weight!- No I don't have time to argue santa - I have to get ready for my hot date! What do you mean they are fired and you'll just hire a horse?! Seriously?! All i want for christmas- is a god- damn- divorce!!! Oh yeah - the elves called - they want a union and will be going on strike!- No you can't pay them in candy canes for building a whole freakin bike! what do you mean you think someone else can do it? The elves you can't outsource Seriously?! All i want for christmas- is a god- damn- divorce!!! Krampus is from a demon descent He's gonna unwrap me just like a present Tie me up with ribbon and a bow His stocking is hung- just so you know Slide down my chimney or come in the rear Oh its gonna be a white christmas this year christmas divorce... Fa la la la la di da di da christmas D-I-V-O-R-C-E Fa la la la la di da di da All I want for christmas is A god damn divorce christmas divorce... la-la la! la! la di da...
