Last year I became a meringue Like a thunderclap it happened, in the street One morning, doing everyday business Thoughts wandering And I realized it was true Heads turned in the high street As I walked the dog In the supermarket, cream, jam And canned fruit Vibrated with the anticipated pleasure Of potential culinary union I got the best seats at sporting venues So I appeared in all the TV shots But it was a bit trying when People in the stands behind Kept on picking bits off me I came second on strictly come dancing Dazzling white, the public loved How sweet I was Almost floating on air Travelling first class was fun Sipping champagne compared To being squashed on sticky economy seats With all those baggage limitations It was a step too far however To enter in ‘I’m a celebrity, Get me out of here When in the second day faced with Rhino balls for tea Instead they all ate me So, now just being a few sugary crumbs I only have enough energy To gasp the moral of the tale; Being a celebrity dessert is fun for a while Until the time one strains each time to smile And being licked becomes rather vile.
