[Intro] Oh, look at you! Still here? After the fire, the brimstone, and that little incident where I showed you the light? You’ve got stamina, kid. I’ll give you that. But let’s be real... you’re not here for the scenery. [Verse 1] You could’ve run for the hills, you could’ve caught the last train You could’ve saved your reputation and a whole lot of brain! But you stayed in the splash zone, you stood in the rain Now you’re strapped to the tracks of my runaway train! I’m a nightmare in neon, a glitch in the light I’ll keep you awake through the dead of the night! You think it’s a friendship? You think it’s a bond? Honey, I’m the lead weight in your favorite pond! [Pre-Chorus] Oh, I’m taking it all, from the shirt to the soul! Your patience is fractured, I’m losing control! But since you’re still standing and haven’t turned blue... I’ve got a special "thank you" just for you! [Chorus] Strike up the band, let the cynicism flow! You’re the VIP guest at the "Me, Myself, and I" show! You want a ride-or-die? Well, you got the short straw! I’m the itch in your brain, I’m the crack in the law! Congratulations, pal! You’ve reached a new peak! You’ve earned a lifelong subscription to this fabulous freak! Stick by my side, and I’ll never descend... ‘Cause you’ll always have a leech to call a friend! [Verse 2] I’ll drain your sad, I'll kill the fued! I’m a social mosquito with a bad attitude! I’ll borrow your hate and I’ll "lose" all your doubt Then I’ll ask you if I can sit with you in the drought Is it toxic? Perhaps! Is it fun? You bet! I’m the best little burden that you haven’t left yet! You’re the saint in the gutter, the spark in the grime, And I’m the guy who’s gonna waste all your time! With MEMES obviously! [Bridge] Why do you do it? Is it pity? Or pride? Do you like having chaos right there by your side? Most people see "Caution" and turn tail and run... But you? You’re a glutton for "terrible fun." ONE, TWO, THREE, HIT IT! [Chorus] Strike up the band, let the cynicism flow! You’re the VIP guest at the "Me, Myself, and I" show! You want a ride-or-die? Well, you got the short straw! I’m the itch in your brain, I’m the crack in the law! Congratulations, pal! You’ve reached a new peak! You’ve earned a lifelong subscription to a fabulous freak! Stick by my side, and I’ll never descend... ‘Cause you’ll always have a leech to call your friend! [Outro] Yeah, you’re stuck with me now! No refunds! No returns! I’m the best mistake you ever made! Now... who’s buying the next round?
