(Intro - Clean electric guitar skank rhythm and deep, simple bass line. Drums are a slow, steady groove.) (Am) (G) (C) (F) (Spoken, low voice, over the beat): Yeah, alright. Forget the partridge. We got bigger problems this year. (The Song) (The pattern follows the traditional cumulative structure, delivered with a smooth, rhythmic flow.) On the Twelfth Day of Christmas, my true love gave to me... 12 New Threads for the 'Gram (Dressed for the 'gram!) 11 Lost Hours Sleepin' 10 Uber Fees Risin' 9 Stale Tacos Left Out 8 New Tattoos Bleedin' 7 Cheap Sunglasses 6 Feet of Un-Shovel'd Snow 5 GOLD IPHONES! (Screaming, slightly off-key) 4 Loud Neighbors Fightin' 3 Flat Tires 2 Sick Dogs (Coughin' up phlegm!) And a cold six-pack sittin' in a busted ice machine! (Breakdown/Instrumental - The beat continues, the lead vocals take a short, smooth rap verse reflecting on the gifts.) (Am) (G) Yeah, you know the deal, man, it's the holiday season (C) Gifts are weird, but the love is the real reason (F) I got twelve new shirts, but zero room in the drawer (Am) I got five gold phones, but the service still sucks and I need more bars! (G) The tacos are stale, the dogs are a mess (C) But you showed up, baby, and that's the real test of the holiday vibe! (Repeat and Fade - The rhythm picks up slightly, emphasizing the smooth, sing-song nature of the chorus line, fading slowly.) On the Twelfth Day of Christmas, my true love gave to me... 12 New Threads for the 'Gram 11 Lost Hours Sleepin' 10 Uber Fees Risin' 9 Stale Tacos Left Out 8 New Tattoos Bleedin' 7 Cheap Sunglasses 6 Feet of Un-Shovel'd Snow 5 GOLD IPHONES! 4 Loud Neighbors Fightin' 3 Flat Tires 2 Sick Dogs (Yeah, sick dogs!) And a cold six-pack sittin' in a busted ice machine! (Am) (G) (C) (F) (Final smooth guitar skank and bass drop fades out.)
