[Intro - Spoken] Okay, okay, hear me out. A new swordsman from Zaun, a family tree made of trouble, and apparently he brought enough knives for all of us. Blade Dancer, welcome to the roster. Try not to stab the welcome committee. [Verse 1] You came up from Zaun with a grin like a dare, Twin blades flicking sparks through the market air. A little fire in your palm, a gadget in your sleeve, And a cheap-shot tucked away for whoever won’t believe. You vault off a wagon, cut a lock on the run, Turn a bad idea into a hell of a lot of fun. I’ve got a gauntlet, you’ve got that look in your eye— If there’s a sealed stone door, we’re already inside. [Pre-Chorus] No map, no plan, no sensible excuse, Just two brilliant idiots with relics to misuse. [Chorus] Welcome, Blade Dancer, grab a rope and hold on tight, We’re chasing down a legend before breakfast tonight. Ancient tomb, cursed crown, probably shouldn’t touch— So naturally we’re touching it, because that’s us. You bring the swordplay, I’ll bring the flash, We’ll turn a guardian statue into historical ash. If the whole place falls apart, buddy, that’s the stance— Disaster buddies, welcome to the League of Legends! [Verse 2] They say you’re Jinx and Vi’s brother—well, that explains the flair, The family reunion probably needs emergency repairs. You fight with a flourish, then a boot to the knee, A little dirty technique is just efficiency. I respect a fighter who can improvise midair, Who throws a blade, throws a flame, throws a chair. When the floor starts cracking and the dead things rise, You’ll be slicing through the problem while I make a clever disguise. [Pre-Chorus] No rules, no brakes, no time to second-guess, We’ll call it archaeological field research in distress. [Chorus] Welcome, Blade Dancer, grab a rope and hold on tight, We’re chasing down a legend before breakfast tonight. Ancient tomb, cursed crown, probably shouldn’t touch— So naturally we’re touching it, because that’s us. You bring the swordplay, I’ll bring the flash, We’ll turn a guardian statue into historical ash. If the whole place falls apart, buddy, that’s the stance— Disaster buddies, welcome to the League of Legends! [Bridge - Spoken] Right, ground rules. If it glows, we poke it. If it whispers, we open it. If it says, “Do not remove,” we remove it together. And if Jinx asks who started this— we were never here. [Bridge - Sung] Fire in the fingers, steel in the spin, Laughing at the danger that we absolutely let in. Every cursed artifact gets a brand-new chance To ruin our afternoon in spectacular fashion. [Final Chorus] Welcome, Blade Dancer, grab a rope and hold on tight, We’re chasing down a legend before breakfast tonight. Ancient tomb, cursed crown, probably shouldn’t touch— So naturally we’re touching it, because that’s us. You bring the swordplay, I’ll bring the flash, We’ll outrun the apocalypse with a pocket full of trash. If the whole place falls apart, buddy, that’s the stance— Disaster buddies, welcome to the League of Legends! [Outro - Spoken] That went perfectly. Apart from the fire, the collapsing bridge, and the curse. So... same time tomorrow? Blade Dancer, welcome in, Let the next impossible adventure begin.
