[Verse 1] From Baltimore, a cynic bold, He watched the crowds with weary eye! Mencken said Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want and deserve to get it good and hard! [Chorus] Heave ho, for Mencken, sharp of wit! He skewered fools, he wouldn't quit! Heave ho, with scorn and laughter bright, He shone on folly's darkest night! [Verse 2] Your life's short span, ye cannot mend, Mencken said You can't do anything about the length of your life, but you can do something about its width and depth! When talk turns cheap, right to the end, Mencken said When somebody says it’s not about the money, it’s about the money! [Chorus] Heave ho, for Mencken, sharp of wit! He skewered fools, he wouldn't quit! Heave ho, with scorn and laughter bright, He shone on folly's darkest night! [Verse 3] The man who'd force his views on you, Mencken said The kind of man who wants the government to adopt and enforce his ideas is always the kind of man whose ideas are idiotic! The average man, 'twixt me and you, Mencken said The average man does not want to be free. He simply wants to be safe! [Chorus] Heave ho, for Mencken, sharp of wit! He skewered fools, he wouldn't quit! Heave ho, with scorn and laughter bright, He shone on folly's darkest night! [Verse 4] To save mankind? A noble quest? Mencken said The urge to save humanity is almost always only a false-face for the urge to rule it! The daily news, put to the test? Mencken said A newspaper is a device for making the ignorant more ignorant and the crazy crazier! Don't bet against the public mind, Mencken said No one ever lost money underestimating the intelligence of the American public! A woman's thoughts, they shift and sway, Mencken said “A woman’s mind is cleaner than a man’s: she changes it more often!” [Chorus] Heave ho, for Mencken, sharp of wit! He skewered fools, he wouldn't quit! Heave ho, with scorn and laughter bright, He shone on folly's darkest night!
