A Hundred Years Too Late

[Intro – vinyl crackle, lute, hurdy-gurdy, ticking clock] Traveler speaking... Coordinates set... France... Year of our Lord, thirteen thirty-seven... Oh dear... Wrong century again. [Verse 1 – lute, glitch beat, hand drums] I stepped through time With a swing in my stride But somebody forgot There was a war outside Longbows singing Church bells cry And I nearly got hit By a knight on a horse ride Saw King Edward's banner Flying in the rain Saw old Philippe's men Doing much the same And I said "Boys, relax!" But nobody listened Strange old century Everybody's missing [Pre-Chorus – brass, recorder] Tick-tock Off I go Another hundred years below Clockwork heart And dancing feet Still looking for a quiet street [Chorus – Electro Swing, brass section] HEY! I'M A HUNDRED YEARS TOO LATE! BA-DA-DA-DA-DA! AND EVERYBODY'S FILLED WITH HATE! BA-DA-DA-DA-DA! I CAME FOR WINE AND A MEDIEVAL FAIR BUT EVERYONE'S TRYING TO KILL SOMEONE HERE! HEY! AIN'T THAT A SHAME? ANOTHER CENTURY ANOTHER GAME! [Verse 2 – hurdy-gurdy, glitch-hop beat] Met a blacksmith Nice old man He asked me "Traveler, what's your plan?" I said "I'm just passing through" He said "So are most of you" Saw a bard With a broken lute Saw a monk Who hated flutes And somewhere in the distance Joan would one day rise But history keeps secrets Until the time is right [Pre-Chorus – hand drums, bells] Tick-tock Round we spin Time's a mess I'm living in One more stop One more dance One more crazy circumstance [Chorus – bigger brass section] HEY! I'M A HUNDRED YEARS TOO LATE! BA-DA-DA-DA-DA! AND EVERYBODY'S FILLED WITH HATE! BA-DA-DA-DA-DA! I CAME FOR MUSIC AND A BARREL OF ALE INSTEAD I FOUND A CENTURY THAT'S GONE OFF THE RAILS! HEY! AIN'T THAT A SIGHT? EVERYBODY'S READY FOR A FIGHT! [Bridge – church bells, choir, soft lute] Maybe tomorrow I'll visit Rome Or maybe ancient China Will become my home But tonight I dance Beneath the rain While England and France Go mad again [Glitch-Hop Breakdown – record scratches, hurdy-gurdy] Tick-tock! Ba-da-ba-da-boom! Swing your sword! Not at me! Wrong guy! Wrong century! HEY! Traveler's still alive! [Final Chorus – brass, choir, huge swing groove] HEY! I'M A HUNDRED YEARS TOO LATE! BA-DA-DA-DA-DA! AND HISTORY JUST CAN'T WAIT! BA-DA-DA-DA-DA! FROM CASTLES HIGH TO MUDDY FIELDS EVERYBODY'S WEARING WAY TOO MUCH STEEL! HEY! WHAT CAN I SAY? ANOTHER ERA ANOTHER DAY! [Outro – ticking clock, lute] Traveler speaking... Next destination... Preferably somewhere with less arrows... And better food.