[Intro: Funky disco bass, bright electric guitar, handclaps, party crowd] Hey, everybody! It's time to celebrate! Got chocolate, got frosting, got a party on my plate! Wait a minute... WHY IS EVERYBODY HOLDING FORKS?! [Record scratch] [Verse: Bouncy funk-pop, playful male vocals] Chocolate dripping, frosting on my face, Pink party hat, I'm the king of this place! Candles are burning, the music's so sweet, Everybody's dancing to the frosting beat! Birthday Bob is throwing his hands in the air, Diabetic Bob's got that hungry stare! He's licking his lips, he's coming my way, OH, SOMEBODY SAVE ME ON MY BIRTHDAY! [Pre-Chorus: Bass builds, backing vocals] I'M NOT A COOKIE! I'M NOT A PIE! I'M A LIVING CAKE! AND I DON'T WANNA DIE! [Chorus: Explosive dance-pop, catchy group vocals] DON'T EAT ME, EAT ME, EAT ME! I'm too sweet, sweet, sweet! Put that fork down, back away, I wanna see another day! DON'T EAT ME, EAT ME, EAT ME! I'm not your midnight treat! We can party through the night, JUST DON'T TAKE A BITE! [Verse 2: Funky guitar, increasing tension] Diabetic Bob, what are you doing?! I'm a whole living cake, why are you pursuing?! Birthday Bob, tell him to stop! He's chasing me around the birthday shop! I've got chocolate, I've got style, I've been running for a country mile! My little legs are getting weak— PLEASE DON'T EAT MY CHOCOLATE CHEEKS! [Build-Up: Rapid handclaps, rising synth] [Cake Bob:] No, no, no, no, NO! [Diabetic Bob:] Mmm... chocolate! [Cake Bob:] WAIT! WE CAN TALK ABOUT THIS! [Sound effect: CHOMP!] [Record scratch. Total silence.] ...YOU ATE ME! [Scene Transition: Low rumble, eerie reversed piano, ghostly choir] [Verse 3: Dark spoken vocals, ominous atmosphere] The lights go dark, the music dies, Birthday Bob can't believe his eyes. Diabetic Bob falls to the floor, And a ghostly figure starts to soar. [Diabetic Bob's Soul:] Why's my body down there on the ground? Why's everybody screaming? What's that sound? Is that a portal? Is that the sky? Wait a second... AM I ABOUT TO DIE?! [Ghostly choir: Ahhhhhh...] [Poltergeist Bob Entrance: Distorted bass, heavy drums, industrial metal guitars] [Poltergeist Bob:] HOLD IT RIGHT THERE, YOU FLOATING FOOL! You're not leaving yet, now listen to the rules! Your body's still breathing, your story ain't done! GET YOUR GHOSTLY BUTT BACK, THIS ISN'T FUN! [Diabetic Bob's Soul:] Get out of my way! I'm going through! [Poltergeist Bob:] NOT WHILE I'M HERE TO RESCUE YOU! [Breakdown: Double-kick drums, crushing guitars, shouted vocals] BACK! BACK! BACK TO YOUR BODY! NO PORTAL! NO PASSAGE! NO AFTERLIFE PARTY! YOU ATE THE CAKE! YOU CAUSED THE DRAMA! NOW GET BACK DOWN! THAT'S AN ORDER, MAAM! [Diabetic Bob's Soul:] I WANT TO LEAVE! [Poltergeist Bob:] I WON'T LET YOU! [Diabetic Bob's Soul:] YOU CAN'T CONTROL ME! [Poltergeist Bob:] WATCH WHAT I DO! [Instrumental: Chaotic horror-metal battle, spectral screams, crashing percussion] [Bridge: Ghostly choir, emotional orchestral rise] [Poltergeist Bob:] You foolish fool, you stubborn soul, You can't just leave and lose control! Your friends are waiting, your story's not through, So get back in your body— WE'RE NOT DONE WITH YOU! [Massive Breakdown: Full band, gang shouts] PULL HIM BACK! PULL HIM BACK! DON'T LET HIM CROSS THE TRACK! PUSH HIM DOWN! TURN AROUND! GET THAT GHOST BACK ON THE GROUND! [Sound effect: Spectral energy blast, rushing wind] [Poltergeist Bob:] THREE! TWO! ONE! [Sound effect: WHOOSH! Sudden silence.] [Scene: Heartbeat sound, faint room ambience] [Diabetic Bob:] ...Huh? [Birthday Bob:] HE'S BACK! [Poltergeist Bob:] You're welcome. [Diabetic Bob:] Did I at least get to keep the cake? [One long beat of silence] [Poltergeist Bob:] I SHOULD HAVE LET YOU GO. [Sudden Record Scratch: Funky disco beat returns] [Final Chorus: Full disco-pop, energetic backing vocals] DON'T EAT ME, EAT ME, EAT ME! This party's gone insane! One ghost fight, one missing cake, And now we're dancing through the pain! DON'T EAT ME, EAT ME, EAT ME! Put your forks away! Birthday Bob, turn up the lights! WE'RE FINISHING THIS PARTY TONIGHT! [Outro: Funky bass, handclaps, silly ad-libs] Hold on... HOLD ON! Everybody's dancing, everything's fine, But somebody's reaching for a cupcake of mine! DIABETIC BOB! I SAW THAT! [Music cuts out] [Diabetic Bob/spoken] ...What? [Cake Bob:/spoken] PUT. IT. DOWN. [Final sound effect: Tiny ghostly giggle, one disco bass hit] [End]
