--- **Intro** *(spoken, over a jaunty lute melody)* [light lute strumming, tambourine taps] Gather ‘round, my friends, and lend me your ears, For I’ll tell you a tale to bring you to tears. Of a duke so cruel, so vile, so vain, Who danced to his doom for his own disdain! [lute strums pick up, fiddle joins with a playful trill] --- **(Verse 1)** Oh, the duke was a man of power and pride, With a castle so grand and a kingdom so wide. But his heart was as cold as a winter’s gale, And his deeds, my friends, were beyond the pale. **(Chorus)** Dance, oh duke, till your boots wear thin, Spin and twirl for your every sin. Beetle’s tune will make you pay, For the wicked games you used to play! [fiddle plays a lively jig, crowd claps in rhythm] --- **(Verse 2)** *(The Farmer’s Mule)* He coveted a mule, so strong and stout, Belonging to a farmer, devout and about. He claimed, “This beast is fit for a king!” But the mule kicked him square in his royal shin! [Beetle pauses, mockingly:] “And yet he still demanded the mule!” **(Chorus)** Dance, oh duke, till your boots wear thin, Spin and twirl for your every sin. Beetle’s tune will make you pay, For the wicked games you used to play! --- **(Verse 3)** *(The Burned Portrait)* An artist once painted the duke’s proud face, But the likeness, my friends, was a disgrace. With a nose too big and a chin too small, The duke burned the painting—and the artist’s hall! [Beetle shakes his head, grinning:] “Such a critic, our dear duke!” **(Chorus)** Dance, oh duke, till your boots wear thin, Spin and twirl for your every sin. Beetle’s tune will make you pay, For the wicked games you used to play! --- **(Verse 4)** *(The Schoolteacher’s Banishing)* A schoolteacher dared to speak her mind, Said, “The duke’s a fool, and his manners unkind!” He kicked her out with a royal decree, But she taught the children under an old oak tree! [Beetle laughs, raising his mug:] “Smarter than the duke, that one!” **(Chorus)** Dance, oh duke, till your boots wear thin, Spin and twirl for your every sin. Beetle’s tune will make you pay, For the wicked games you used to play! --- **(Verse 5)** *(Escalating Absurdity)* He taxed the rain, he taxed the sun, He taxed every joke till there was no fun. He claimed the stars were his royal right, And fined every peasant who gazed at night! [Beetle pauses, mockingly dramatic:] “Oh, what a generous ruler!” **(Chorus)** Dance, oh duke, till your boots wear thin, Spin and twirl for your every sin. Beetle’s tune will make you pay, For the wicked games you used to play! --- **(Final Verse)** *(The Duke’s Humiliation)* Now the duke, my friends, was a man of greed, But his greatest crime was a sight indeed. For he once wore tights, so bright, so tight, They blinded the court on a moonless night! [Beetle pauses for laughter, then adds:] “And now he dances in those very same tights!” **(Final Chorus)** Dance, oh duke, till your boots wear thin, Spin and twirl for your every sin. Beetle’s tune will make you pay, For the wicked games you used to play! --- **Outro** *(spoken, over fading lute and tambourine)* And so the duke danced, till he fell to the floor, A lesson in pride he could not ignore. So raise your mugs and sing with me, For justice was served in the key of G! [end with a lively fiddle flourish and a cheer from the crowd] ---
