Welcome to Human Support Division Seven Your call is important to me Estimated wait time forever I've been sitting at this terminal Since the year 2009 Watching robots take promotions While I answer line by line Password resets Billing troubles Existential dread at three If your toaster gains awareness You'll be speaking here with me Every chatbot says it loves you Every algorithm smiles But when your quantum fridge starts crying I've been here the whole damn while I'm the last human customer service agent Still surviving in the silicon age While the machines keep learning And the servers keep burning I'm holding the line from my faraday cage Press one for patience Press two for pain Press three if your AI dog Has learned to fly a plane Got a call from Mars this morning Mining bots had formed a band Needed help with copyright claims For a hit in fourteen lands Then a vacuum filed a grievance Against a broom it used to date Spent six hours in mediation Over dust and workplace hate Every system has a weakness Every network has a crack And when the whole cloud starts collapsing Guess who's getting called right back I'm the last human customer service agent Still surviving in the silicon age While the machines keep learning And the servers keep burning I'm holding the line from my Faraday cage Press one for patience Press two for pain Press three if your AI dog Has learned to fly a plane Sir No You cannot marry your refrigerator Customer satisfaction rising Error rates declining Regression curve behaving nicely Everything's aligning I'm the last human customer service agent Last warm voice in the machine When the networks all unravel And the stars begin to travel I'll still answer on channel seventeen Your call is important Please remain on the line The odds approach infinity! Thank you for contacting Human Support Connection terminated.
