[Verse 1] Four hundred milligrams of Taurine in my veins Connecting copper wires to the limestone terrain Look at the corkboard, look at the thread Mainstream academia was fed by the feds Khufu didn't build a tomb, Khufu wanted crunch Two million heavy blocks just to heat up his lunch! Duct tape on the modem, foil on my head They were crisping up falafel for the royal undead! [Pre-Chorus] Someone turn the dial, set the temp to four-hundred! Quickly crank the engine, the timeline is plundered! Look at the air shafts, look at the vents— None of this granite makes historical sense! (WOO!) [Chorus] It’s the convection chamber hypothesis! Golden crispy parchment in a vortex of myth! They say it’s a sarcophagus, we know it’s a basket! Flash-frying the Nile in a thermal-flow casket! Circulating dry heat through the King’s room floor! Wobble-wobble-crisp, open up the stone door! Giza was an air fryer, baby, it’s true! And the pharaoh likes his fries extra golden too! [Verse 2] Slapped a CRT monitor straight against the brick Papyrus schematics got a thermal-flow flick Look at the glyphs, man, that’s not an Anubis! That’s a rapid-heating element, you absolute doofus! Thoth wasn't writing down the secrets of the dead He had a thirty-minute timer on his garlic flatbread! Smell the ozone cooking off the copper coil array We’re about to bake the dogma of the modern day! [Pre-Chorus] Someone turn the dial, set the temp to four-hundred! Quickly crank the engine, the timeline is plundered! Look at the air shafts, look at the vents— None of this granite makes historical sense! (WOO!) [Chorus] It’s the convection chamber hypothesis! Golden crispy parchment in a vortex of myth! They say it’s a sarcophagus, we know it’s a basket! Flash-frying the Nile in a thermal-flow casket! Circulating dry heat through the King’s room floor! Wobble-wobble-crisp, open up the stone door! Giza was an air fryer, baby, it’s true! And the pharaoh likes his fries extra golden too! [Bridge] Thermal conductive granite makes the structure bake! Three thousand years of heat retention by mistake! The porous limestone traps the hot kinetic flash! Pressurized air vents create a steady blast! Peer-reviewed thermodynamics proves it all again! Analyze the airflow! Verify the output! Test the thermal resonance! CRUNCH! [Verse 3] Dropped thermal conductive gel across the motherboard Now the hieroglyphs are glowing on a power cord Listen to the hum coming through the AM band Crispiest convection in the burning desert sand Zahi Hawass is knocking on the basement door He can’t handle the crunch on the limestone floor! We cracked the code, we cracked the seal Ten thousand BTUs of undeniable meal! [Pre-Chorus] Someone turn the dial, set the temp to four-hundred! Quickly crank the engine, the timeline is plundered! Look at the air shafts, look at the vents— None of this granite makes historical sense! (WOO!) [Chorus] It’s the convection chamber hypothesis! Golden crispy parchment in a vortex of myth! They say it’s a sarcophagus, we know it’s a basket! Flash-frying the Nile in a thermal-flow casket! Circulating dry heat through the King’s room floor! Wobble-wobble-crisp, open up the stone door! Giza was an air fryer, baby, it’s true! And the pharaoh likes his fries extra golden too! [Outro] Circulating dry heat through the King’s room floor! Wobble-wobble-crisp, open up the stone door! Giza was an air fryer, baby, it’s true! And the pharaoh likes his fries extra golden too!
