I met your eyes while we were hiding from the rain, One umbrella, and my heartbeat woke again. Your hand moved close, like time had learned to slip, Your fingertips came close enough to brush my lips. From my toes, I felt the colors start to rise, You kept blooming, getting bigger in my mind. I was filling up with everything you are, Like I might spill your name out from my heart. You make me breathless, make the whole world change, One little second, nothing feels the same. Why does it hurt when I’m so happy too? Tell me, whose fault is it? Maybe it’s you. My innocent heart starts making noise, Running up the sky like it has a choice. Why does the rain feel warm tonight? Why does it smell like sunlight? I always watched you more than I should do, So I saw things I never wanted to. The way you smiled at someone across the room, The way my chest went quiet way too soon. I loved your profile when you talked about your dreams, Eyes on the future, shining out of reach. I wanted you to turn around and look at me, But I couldn’t say it, so I let it be. What do I want? I still don’t know, Two sides of me keep fighting low. My feelings wander, scared to be found, Like they might lose their way somehow. I swing like a pendulum, back and forth, One blink changes what my heart is for. Why does it ache when I’m so glad it’s true? I hate to say it, but it’s all because of you. One little word, one mystery move, Turns my balance into something loose. Why does the sun feel cold today? Why does it smell like rain? What kind of face should I make right now? Ten years later at this class reunion crowd. Even standing close, shoulder to shoulder tonight, All that time between us won’t disappear from sight. “Hey, how’ve you been?” “Are you doing okay?” We laugh like the years were just one rainy day. I was such a mess at seventeen, It surprises me how softly I can smile at me. But somewhere in those bright old days, I think I left something I can’t name. Not quite love, not quite regret, Just one small thing I never said. You make me breathless, but the room has changed, One little second, then the past feels far away. Why does it hurt when I can smile at you? Maybe that’s what time is meant to do. Your grown-up face still carries the light, Of the boy who ran beside me through my life. Why does the rain feel warm tonight? Why does it smell like sunlight? You walk ahead, just a step apart, Still close enough to stir my heart. To the days I never knew how to name, To the girl I was, still caught in the rain, I whisper, “Goodbye.”
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