The Vapor Of Our Fears

Where did my single lifetime go How did I watch it pass so fast How could I have let it leave me With little or nothing that lasts Did I do anything anytime anywhere That ever mattered much at all Chances were there for the taking From shadows fragile and small Was I so blind, young and sure That living was so easily done That the times I did nothing Were the only times I ever won What happened to that young man With so many questions asked in pain Why did our moments celebrated Become memories earned in vain Why does heaven hand out salvation To only those who will believe When did I quit praying By counting aces up my sleeve Were my dreams so phony and small That the laughs were weary jokes Left to share at retirement parties Waiting my turn while others spoke We move into every waiting space And change it into another lonely place We face the end with hidden dread Where no one knows what lies ahead When we learn to settle into our ways We know how to face the last of our days Then collapse from the fever of years And drift into the vapor of our fears How many seasons passed me by Curtains closed and darkness setting in Hiding from the moments that mattered Sleeping past every reason to begin Could this be the last Thanksgiving The final Christmas season of hope Is there nothing beyond our daily pain But the newest drug we take to cope Was happiness once a bright morning Full of sun yet anxious for night Was the rising dawn the final proof Our years are filled with fading light