Incident Log | Texts From My Dog-Loving Neighbor

Tea Before Dawn

indie-pop, bedroom-pop, funk

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V5.5

[Cold Open — phone buzz]

NEIGHBOR:
Hi. Sorry to text so early.
Your dog has been barking since 5:42.

ME:
Oh no — sorry.
I’ll check.

NEIGHBOR:
5:42
5:44
5:47
5:51

ME:
…okay.

NEIGHBOR:
I’ve started a log.

[beat drops]

[Verse 1]

Monday morning, 6:03
“He barked when I took out the trash.”

6:05
“Again.”

6:07
“Please don’t minimize this.”

Tuesday night she sends a clip
Fourteen seconds, timestamped twice
Subject line:

INCIDENT #9

My dog is sleeping by my side

[Pre-Chorus]

I type, “I’m sorry”
Delete, rewrite
“We’re working on it, have a good night”

Three little dots—

Here we go.

[Chorus — DOG POV, warm and ridiculously sweet]

I saw a bird
I saw a bee
I found a leaf
It followed me

I heard a sound
I said hello
Then everybody yelled,
So I don’t know

I like the sun
I like the grass
I like that lady
When she walks past

She doesn’t wave
But that’s okay
Maybe she’ll like me
Another day

[phone buzz]

NEIGHBOR:
For the record,
I love dogs.

[Verse 2]

Wednesday, 7:23
“He was watching me through the fence.”

7:24
“He’s still watching.”

7:26
“Now he’s pretending not to.”

Attached: one photograph
Zoomed to twenty-seven times

Little blurry dog-shaped blob
Red circle. Arrow.

YOUR DOG.

ME:
That’s a shrub.

[Instrumental stop]

NEIGHBOR:
I know what I saw.

[Bridge — notifications become percussion]

Ping.

NEIGHBOR:
8:31 — barking.

Ping.

8:33 — barking.

Ping.

8:34 — barking.

Ping.

8:36 — still barking.

ME:
We’re in Tahoe.

[Silence]

Ping.

NEIGHBOR:
Then whose dog is that?

ME:
Linda’s.

[long silence]

Ping.

NEIGHBOR:
Well, yours does it too.

[Final Chorus — DOG POV]

I saw a bird
It flew away
I checked the fence
It’s still okay

I found my ball
I lost it twice
I smelled the same
Old bush three times

I heard my name
I wagged my tail
I have no log
I have no mail

I don’t know what
I’m guilty of

But if she comes outside—

I’ll say hello.

[Outro — quiet]

Ping.

NEIGHBOR:
I really don’t appreciate
being characterized
as someone who hates dogs.

[beat]

Ping.

NEIGHBOR:
Also, 9:17.

One bark.

[small dog bark]

NEIGHBOR:
9:18.

Two.

2084/7500

[Cold Open — phone buzz] NEIGHBOR: Hi. Sorry to text so early. Your dog has been barking since 5:42. ME: Oh no — sorry. I’ll check. NEIGHBOR: 5:42 5:44 5:47 5:51 ME: …okay. NEIGHBOR: I’ve started a log. [beat drops] [Verse 1] Monday morning, 6:03 “He barked when I took out the trash.” 6:05 “Again.” 6:07 “Please don’t minimize this.” Tuesday night she sends a clip Fourteen seconds, timestamped twice Subject line: INCIDENT #9 My dog is sleeping by my side [Pre-Chorus] I type, “I’m sorry” Delete, rewrite “We’re working on it, have a good night” Three little dots— Here we go. [Chorus — DOG POV, warm and ridiculously sweet] I saw a bird I saw a bee I found a leaf It followed me I heard a sound I said hello Then everybody yelled, So I don’t know I like the sun I like the grass I like that lady When she walks past She doesn’t wave But that’s okay Maybe she’ll like me Another day [phone buzz] NEIGHBOR: For the record, I love dogs. [Verse 2] Wednesday, 7:23 “He was watching me through the fence.” 7:24 “He’s still watching.” 7:26 “Now he’s pretending not to.” Attached: one photograph Zoomed to twenty-seven times Little blurry dog-shaped blob Red circle. Arrow. YOUR DOG. ME: That’s a shrub. [Instrumental stop] NEIGHBOR: I know what I saw. [Bridge — notifications become percussion] Ping. NEIGHBOR: 8:31 — barking. Ping. 8:33 — barking. Ping. 8:34 — barking. Ping. 8:36 — still barking. ME: We’re in Tahoe. [Silence] Ping. NEIGHBOR: Then whose dog is that? ME: Linda’s. [long silence] Ping. NEIGHBOR: Well, yours does it too. [Final Chorus — DOG POV] I saw a bird It flew away I checked the fence It’s still okay I found my ball I lost it twice I smelled the same Old bush three times I heard my name I wagged my tail I have no log I have no mail I don’t know what I’m guilty of But if she comes outside— I’ll say hello. [Outro — quiet] Ping. NEIGHBOR: I really don’t appreciate being characterized as someone who hates dogs. [beat] Ping. NEIGHBOR: Also, 9:17. One bark. [small dog bark] NEIGHBOR: 9:18. Two.

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