Check one, check two. The moon is howling at itself... And its face is wearing a hat! Midnight in the supermarket aisle. Plastic fangs and a nervous smile. Somebody’s grandma on the radio Saying, “Don’t open the door if the door says hello!” The skeleton’s dancing by the freezer light, He’s got one good hip and a dynamite bite. A witch in a taxi says, “Where do you go?” She says, “I’m late for a séance at the picture show!” Halloween! Halloween! Turn the porch light green! Shake the bones and ring the bell, Everybody’s under the spell! Halloween! Halloween! Best disguise I’ve ever seen! Who’s that knocking? Who’s that there? It’s only you with a different hair. "Cut-up voices in a candy machine!" "Extra spooky!" "Keep it clean!" "Step right up!" "No photographs!" "Please remove your haunted masks!" The werewolf’s got a paper route. The vampire’s trying to figure it out. The mummy’s stuck in an elevator, For no mere mortal can resist the evil of the... "elevator." A little ghost with a shopping cart Says, “I lost my body at the trailer park.” The moon says, “Kid, I know the feeling.” Then the whole sky starts ceiling-peeling! Halloween! Halloween! Turn the porch light green! Shake the bones and ring the bell, Everybody’s under the spell! Halloween! Halloween! Best disguise I’ve ever seen! Who’s that knocking? Who’s that there? It’s only you with a different hair. Attention, shoppers: The haunted house is now closing. Please collect your children. Your children... your children... No running in the cemetery. No feeding the invisible dog. No refunds on red leather jackets or cursed merchandise! Thank you for screaming. I found a pumpkin on the payphone. It called me from the other side. It said, “The neighborhood is missing.” I said, “Come on in, we’ve got room inside.” Then every window grew an eye! Every shadow learned to drive! The streetlights hummed a lullaby... And all the dead did a synchronized dance to stay alive! A black cat DJ with a velvet sleeve Spinning old curses at quarter to three. The broomstick bass goes boom-boom-boom While the jack-o’-lanterns fill the room. “Who wants a treat?” “I want a clue!” “Who took the night?” “The night took you!” A clown in a trench coat whispers, “Be brave” Then moonwalks backward into his grave. The whole block bounces, the rooftops sway... And the sun forgets to come up in the morning gray. Halloween! Halloween! Turn the porch light green! Shake the bones and ring the bell, Everybody’s under the spell! Halloween! Halloween! Best disguise I’ve ever seen! Who’s that knocking? Who’s that there? It’s only you with a different hair. Trick or treat. Treat or trick. Time goes fast. The clock goes sick. The costumes fade, the candy’s gone. But something’s humming in the lawn. Halloween... Halloween... Don’t look now, but you’ve been seen. Halloween... Halloween...
