[Verse 1] You walk in carryin’ half the bar, Two chairs strapped to your battle scar, Ask the barkeep where the fights begin— I say, “Right here,” with a crooked grin. You blink twice, flex your arm, Say, “I only know how to do… harm?” I lean close, slow and sweet— “Perfect, big guy. Start with me.” [Pre-Chorus] I tell you softly, “Don’t hold back,” You say, “I don’t… understand… that,” Grip your axe like it’s serious play— I’m noddin’ like, “Yeah. That way.” [Chorus] 🎶 Come on, barbarian, hit me with that hammer, Swing real slow, then swing real harder, Break my bed—uh—I mean my shield, Test how tough my armor feels, All night long, don’t stop the smash, You say “Is good?”—I whisper “yes,” Knock me over, lift me again, Training session till morning, friend—* 🎶 [Verse 2] You say, “I brought rock for throwing,” I say, “Cool, I bend when I’m going,” You ask, “We fight with clothes still on?” I say, “Depends how long we brawl till dawn.” You lift me like I weigh a spoon, Say, “You very… small… for doom,” I twirl a finger, bite my lip— “Relax, sweetheart. Use your grip.” [Pre-Chorus] I mark a spot on the tavern floor, You say, “I smash… here… or more?” I tilt my head, slow and sly— “Let’s see how long you last. Try.” [Chorus] 🎶 Come on, barbarian, break my stance, Call it combat, call it dance, Crash real close, breathe real hot, Say “Oops sorry”—do it a lot, Drop that sword, use your hands, You nod like that was the whole damn plan, All night sparrin’, sweat and heat— Big dumb hero, bring the beat—* 🎶 [Bridge] You ask, “Why heart go boom so loud?” I say, “That means you’re doin’ proud.” You scratch your head, blink once more— Say, “We still… fight? Or cuddle war?” I whisper, “Rage mode—don’t be shy,” You roar too early, hit the sky, Break the wall—apologize— Pick me up like, “Prize?” [Final Chorus] 🎶 Come on, muscle mountain, go all night, Training montage till daylight, Swing that club—no, not that way— …Okay fine, yeah, that way, Crash the bed—THE TABLE—oops, You shrug like both were meant for use, Sun comes up, you flex again, Say “We rematch?”—I say “When.”* 🎶 [Outro] You wander out with a brand-new bruise, Ask the sun where breakfast is too, I stretch and laugh from head to toe— “Best… workout… ever.” You nod. “Good smash.”
